


The Ways To Your Heart

by Liyi



Series: 00 line is the best! [6]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Royalty, F/M, Implied Mpreg, M/M, Multi, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-02
Updated: 2019-03-26
Packaged: 2019-09-05 16:28:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 25,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16814293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liyi/pseuds/Liyi
Summary: Na Jaemin is suddenly thrown into the role of Crown Prince.Lee Donghyuck is suddenly confronted with the possibility of a life he's never imagined for himself.Lee Jeno doesn't know what he wants anymore.And Huang Renjun just wants everyone to be happy.Aka:The story of how four very different people come to fall in love.





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

> Idk how long this is going to be, but I do already have the ending in mind. I'm planning to try to finish this by the end of December.
> 
> Enjoy~
> 
> P.S: I kind of low-key hate the summary and I'll change it at a later date.

Jaemin always knew that he would live under his brother's shadow.

As the third child and second son of the royal family of Korea, it was his older brother Jaeho that was meant to be the next Emperor.

Secretly, Jaemin had always been glad that it wasn't him.

It was already hard enough being a prince, there was no way he could handle having to take charge of an entire nation.

As a prince, Jaemin knew that his life was already planned out for him. 

From his friends to his school and even to his future marriage, it had all been decided from when he was just a little boy.

But since this wasn't a drama, Jaemin knew who he was going to marry. He knew the person quite well actually.

Lee Jeno.

Otherwise known as a grandson of the Lee Clan, one of the most powerful clans in the nation with several of the biggest companies being run by them.

It came as no surprise to the people when Jeno was announced as their prince's fiance on his eighteenth birthday.

But there were a few things kept secret from the people.

The first thing the general public didn't know was that the marriage wasn't brokered by the Lee Clan, rather it was the royal family that had asked for one of the Lee grandchildren to be married off to them.

Secondly, it hadn't been Jaemin that was supposed to be marrying a Lee descendant, rather it had been crown prince Jaeho.

The Lee matriarch had actually been quite resistant to the idea, not wanting to subject one of her grandchildren to an unhappy life.

Her mind had only changed when Jeno and Jaemin met, an instant connection sparking between the pair. It helped that it also meant that Jeno didn't have to be just a consort like he would have been with Jaeho meant to marry a Chinese prince, rather he would be the main husband.

It had seemed to be a match made in heaven, and Jaemin wouldn't disagree with the notion.

But life always threw a few surprises.

In the end, Jaemin had always _thought_ that he would live under his brother's shadow.

It didn't turn out that way.

___

Donghyuck always knew that he was meant for something bigger.

Or at least, that was what his family tried to teach him.

Apparently their clan had a long and glorious history, but that didn't count for anything in Donghyuck's opinion with how they were struggling to get by each day.

While their clan had faded into oblivion, the other Lee Clan had only grown in power and money until they stood at the top of the social ladder.

In all honesty, Donghyuck would be lying if he said he wasn't jealous.

It didn't matter if he had a noble bloodline when he had nothing to prove for it.

Donghyuck's life wasn't never going to amount to much anyways.

He would grow up, get a job, maybe marry a girl and start a family and work until he was old and gray before hopefully passing away peacefully.

It was a more cynical world-view, but everybody lived the same way and there was no reason to believe that Donghyuck would be different

Or at least, that was what he assumed before everything suddenly changed.

_Breaking News: Crown Prince Jaeho was said to have been in a car accident. Reports are flooding in from Seoul that he's in the Seoul National University Hospital currently receiving emergency treatment._

_The prognosis is said to look grim. We will be back with updates._

Donghyuck furrowed his eyebrows as he watched the news.

He was never one to pay much attention to the royal family, but even he was slightly worried.

It was only minutes later that a second report came in.

_Crown Prince Jaeho has been confirmed by the Palace to have passed away from his injuries at 6:57 pm. His younger brother Na Jaemin is now the future heir to the royal throne._

_The Palace has confirmed that they will be releasing a statement soon. The entire nation is grieving the loss of this young royal._

Donghyuck sighed, shaking his head in dismay.

He knew that the internet was probably blowing up at the news as they speculated about their prince's death.

They would also be wondering about the new Crown Prince. 

Na Jaemin.

He didn't know much about the younger prince honestly, only that he was supposedly very different from his brother.

Would he make a good Emperor?

Donghyuck wasn't so sure, but that didn't really bother him.

It wasn't like anything in his life would change as a result.

___

Jeno was never one for the spotlight.

Rather than standing in the middle of a crowd, he much referred staying in the back, in the shadows.

But unfortunately, he commanded attention wherever he went.

Firstly as the grandson of the Lee Clan.

Secondly as the future husband to who was now the Crown Prince of Korea.

Jeno wasn't really handling it well in all honesty.

And he knew Jaemin wasn't either.

It was just that the younger boy was much better than him at hiding his feelings, his face a solid mask as he stood at the podium.

Jeno wasn't sure on what he was saying, too focused on the little hints that Jaemin was giving off that everything wasn't okay.

His hand shook slightly, his face was paler and his eyes looked dead. Those were the signs of the boy he knew.

A boy that might never come back.

Jeno had to look away, eyes set off into the distance as cameras constantly flashed in front of him.

Once the press conference was over and they were led backstage, the first thing Jaemin did was grab a bottle of water, hurriedly drinking it down like his throat burned.

Jeno could only watch as Jaemin tried so, _so_ hard to pretend he was fine.

He wouldn't break down here, Jeno was sure of that.

But he wasn't sure if Jaemin would break down anywhere.

___

Renjun knew what was expected of him.

Unlike his older brother Sicheng, meant to become the future Emperor, or his younger brother Chenle that was adored by their father, Renjun was the throw-away prince.

He was expandable.

And thus his fate was sealed.

Renjun was to marry a foreign prince. The only comfort he could get was that he was going to be the main husband, the ruler alongside his future partner.

Even if Crown Prince Jaeho had now passed away, that didn't change a thing.

Rather, Renjun was now to marry the new Crown Prince.

His younger brother Jaemin.

For once, Renjun didn't know what to expect with this new prince.

Maybe he would fight back, maybe he would refuse to accept it. All possibilities.

Or maybe he would realise that there was no way he could change things, and that to fight was futile.

Renjun realised that a long time ago.

Somehow he was glad.

Finally, there would be someone who could understand his pain.


	2. II

"No." Jaemin refused once again, a headache pounding his skull.

"I've already said this. Jeno is to be my future husband." He insisted.

"With all due respect your Majesty, Lee Jeno is not suitable to be the Empress of the nation. And we made a deal with the Emperor of China for your Empress to be their second prince Renjun."

"So your saying... There's nothing I can do about this?" He sighed, looking up at Doyoung.

The elder could only shake his head. "Unfortunately."

Jaemin buried his head in his hands. God, why was this happening to him?

He wasn't meant to be Crown Prince. He was completely unprepared.

How had Jaeho endured all of this for so long? It had only been a week and he already felt like screaming and throwing the towel in.

"Jaemin." Doyoung called him by his first name, making the boy look up at him.

This was the first time ever since he had been crowned that Doyoung had called him by his name.

"I know this is difficult for you. Heck, it's difficult for me too. None of us expected this to happen, but it has and we have to deal with the consequences."

"I know, I know. It's just... It's hard hyung. I still can't believe that hyung's gone and now I'm supposed to be crown prince and I have all these responsibilities on me and now Jeno is supposed to become a _consort._ He doesn't deserve to be a consort hyung. I've seen what happens and I don't want that to happen to him."

His own mother had actually been a consort, but when Jaemin and his twin sister Jaerin had been born, they were immediately adopted by the Empress.

While it meant that they had been granted Prince and Princess status, it meant that their mother was no longer their mother.

The two of them ended up being raised by a hoard of nannies and tutors while their mother was kept away from them, only allowed to see them a few times a year.

He wasn't going to let Jeno be subjected to a life of unfairness. There was no way.

"Jaemin, you can't always win in life. Sometimes you just have to give in." Doyoung advised kindly.

"But hyung," He started, lowering his hands, "If I give in... they will just demand more and more of me. And I don't know how much more I can give." Jaemin admitted.

Doyoung's eyes trembled at that, the familiarity of the words ringing in his head.

_I don't know how much more I can handle Doyoung._

"You know, Jaeho once wondered the same." He muttered, tears filling his eyes before he snapped out of it.

"Alright, you should go now. You still have your classes to attend."

Before Jaemin could think too hard on the oddity of Doyoung's behaviour, the advisor left the room.

Jaemin took in a deep breath, trying to calm himself down.

It was time to put on the mask again.

___

There was a low buzz of energy in Donghyuck's school when he walked through the school gates that morning.

It was unusual considering how dead the student body was whenever they had to show up for school.

"Hyuck!" Yeri called out to him, waving happily as she bounced over to the younger.

"Noona." Donghyuck greeted back, letting her link her arm in his. "Where's Mark hyung?"

"Busy with council duties." She replied.

Despite the fact that they were in different grades, Yeri always insisted on going to his class every morning, so he let her drag him along to his classroom.

In the back sat his other two best friends Sunwoo and Jinyoung, the former sleeping while the latter was busy on his phone.

"Who are you texting?" Yeri asked once they were close enough.

"None of your business." Jinyoung replied without batting an eye, still busy on his phone.

Yeri scoffed, rolling her eyes. "I bet your texting your precious Daehwi." She teased, hitting the nail right on the head when the boy suddenly blushed.

"Shut up." He muttered with no real bite to his tone.

"Where is Daehwi anyway? Usually he's here with you." Donghyuck asked.

Jinyoung shrugged, "Some kind of emergency family meeting."

"Emergency? Would that have to do with the rumors surrounding Lee Jeno?" Yeri wondered.

They all knew what she was talking about.

Since Na Jaemin was now the Crown Prince, rumors had started to surface regarding the fate of his impending marriage to Lee Jeno.

It was no secret that the deceased Crown Prince Jaeho was arranged to be married to the Chinese second Prince Renjun, so everybody was wondering what was going to happen with him now gone.

It seemed as though Jeno was still going to be part of the royal family considering that he was there at the press conference a week ago, but there was little else known.

In Donghyuck's opinion, it was likely that he would become a mere consort while Prince Renjun would become the Empress.

"You guys are loud." Sunwoo groaned, stirring awake.

"That's what you get for sleeping in class all the time." Yeri retorted, sticking her tongue out.

Sunwoo rolled his eyes, "Well not everybody is blessed to have been born into a good family like yours _Yeri._ Some of us actually have to work to keep a roof over our heads, right Hyuck?" 

Wisely Donghyuck kept his mouth shut, not wanting to get involved in the brewing arguement.

Sunwoo has always been a little too straightforward just like Yeri, and it was definitely creating tension between the two.

Donghyuck just wasn't sure which kind, because half the time they looked like they wanted to kill each other, the other half like they wanted to jump each other and make out.

He looked over to Jinyoung, noting the small smirk on his face.

Definitely the latter.

"Okay, okay, you two cut it out. Noona, shouldn't you go back to your class now?" Donghyuck broke it it, because as amusing as it would be to see the two of them make out, he was pretty sure that the teacher would not appreciate walking into such a scene.

He successfully shooed Yeri off just as Miss Kim entered the classroom to start class.

Just another normal day in the life of Lee Donghyuck.

___

"Jeno."

The boy jumped at the sound of his name, looking up from where he had been staring aimlessly at the wooden desk in-between him and his grandmother.

"Halmeoni, what should I do?" He wondered out loud, sounding and looking visibly lost.

The old lady, having never expected this to happen to her precious grandson. When she had agreed to the match, she thought that Jeno would be happy for life.

"I'm sorry sweetheart. I never thought that this would happen to you. If I did..."

"Don't say that halmeoni. What's done is done. It's not that I don't love Jaemin, but everything around him has become so... _difficult."_ He admitted, struggling to find the correct words for his emotions.

"I think I'm being selfish halmeoni. I'm being really, _really_ selfish." Jeno felt tears welling in his eyes as the words spilled out of him.

"I want to be the only one for Jaemin, and in a perfect world that would be the case. But it _isn't._ I can't be the only one for him halmeoni. I'm never going to be his Empress, another man is. Another prince. Someone who's more capable than I'll ever be, someone who can help him carry the burden of someday ruling a nation. Someone who can help him do all the things that I _can't._

And it _hurts_ halmeoni. It hurts so much that I feel like I'm about to claw my heart out. But I'm... A part of me is actually _relieved._ I don't think I can become Empress even if I had the chance. I don't think I can handle ruling an entire nation. It's like... The two halves of me are fighting. The rational part of me goes, no this is a _good_ thing. Your not capable enough. You can't do it! But the emotional part of me goes, _no, no, no,_ your the only one for Jaemin! Not some faraway prince he's never even met. Am I even making any sense right now?" Jeno asked in a small tone of voice, struggling to keep himself calm.

His grandmother only looked at him with soft eyes, taking her handkerchief to wipe away Jeno's tears.

"It sounds to me, that you have a bad case of low self-esteem child."

"What do you mean?"

"What makes you think that your unfit to rule a nation? Nobody has ever said anything about you being incapable, _your_ the one holding yourself back Jeno."

"... Do you really think so?" He finally asked after a long stretch of silence.

"Yes my darling. Jeno you can do anything if you put your heart into it. I believe in you sweetheart. So don't doubt yourself and go after Jaemin. Your not ready to lose him right?"

There was another long stretch of silence as the tension in the room increased.

Jeno steeled himself, speaking his next words with conviction.

"No, I'm not."

___

Renjun has only met his father a total of three times.

The first time was when he was three and he showed up at his birthday party.

Little Renjun had been so amazed that he had run up to his father, grabbing onto his leg in excitement.

Almost immediately he had gotten kicked away, landing on his hands and feet.

His mother had immediately kneeled in front of his father, begging for forgiveness.

That was when he realised that _oh,_ that wasn't his father.

That was the _Emperor._

His father had never existed in the first place.

The second time he met the Emperor, Renjun was thirteen.

His mother had just passed away from a illness, and he was to be moved to a different section of the Palace now that she was gone.

Renjun doesn't remember much of the encounter honestly, only the cold way the Emperor had spoken to him.

The way he had callously told him that it was better now that his mother was gone, and how deeply his words cut into him.

That was when he realised the Emperor was cruel. So, so cruel.

This would be the third time he was meeting the Emperor, kneeling before him in a bow.

He rose from his bow, head lowered to not look at him. 

"Your marriage has hit a small bump I'm afraid, but it'll proceed as planned."

"Yes Father."

"You are to be sent to South Korea to meet your future groom. I'm sure that you won't let me down right?"

"Yes Father." He repeated, temping down his urge to object.

It would do nothing but cause him trouble to show disobedience.

"Good, you can leave now."

Renjun was escorted out of the throne room by servants to be led back to his room.

Yukhei, his guard, stood to his left, a warm and comforting presence.

He was a reminder that everything would still be okay. 

Renjun reminded himself that it was better this way.

So why didn't he believe it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeri is from Red Velvet while Sunwoo is from The Boyz. I've been getting really into the boyz lately and I'm wondering whether I should write something for them, but that will come later. First I would have to write some for svt since I'm still low-key disappointed in myself that I haven't yet.
> 
> Lol, pls enjoy the chapter~


	3. III

"I'm not ready." Were the first words out of Jaemin's mouth when he heard his father's announcement.

"My decision is final. You _will_ be crowned next year." 

Jaemin stared at his father in disbelief at what he was hearing, "Father, I've only been in this role for the past six months. You can't seriously expect me to be ready to rule in another year's time."

The Emperor stared at his son wordlessly for a while, face unreadable. 

_What exactly are you thinking?_ Jaemin wondered.

"You will do as I say Jaemin. That is final." The Emperor repeated.

The boy frowned, wanting to retort but he could feel Jaerin's hand gripping his own in a silent warning.

In the end, Jaemin kept his mouth shut, eyes lowered and jaw clenched before he stood up.

"Please excuse me." He bowed before quickly leaving the room

As Jaemin walked back to his bedroom, his hand worked on undoing his tie. It was so goddamn uncomfortable that he wondered why he was forced to have to wear it everyday.

It was all for his image as Crown Prince, an image that he never wanted for himself.

Huffing in anger, he slammed the door to his room, immediately crashing onto his bed.

Everything was peacefully silent for a bit before there was a knock on the door followed by the sound of it opening.

Jaemin should have just locked the door.

He turned his head to yell at whoever it was to leave, only to be shocked to see that it was the Empress.

"Mother." He scrambled to his feet, bowing to her.

Jaemin's relationship with the woman was awkward at best honestly. She never visited much while he was growing up, and it didn't seem like she ever planned on changing that.

"Sit down my child." She commanded, gesturing for him to sit on the bed next to her.

Hesitantly Jaemin sat down, leaving a distance between them.

"Now, I know your not pleased with your father. I can understand how shocking this must be considering that you were never meant to be Emperor, but it is a duty you must fulfill."

He knew that, which was why he tried his best not to fight back even when he felt the ministers were being unreasonable.

But...

"This is too much for me mother. We both know I'm not ready for this role." Jaemin admitted worriedly.

She sighed, "Even if your not, you must Jaemin. Your father... You know he hasn't been in the best of health recently. It seems your brother's death has only worsened his condition. That is the only reason why your being crowned so early. Your father is worried that he might not be around much longer."

Jaemin's jaw dropped a little in shock as he tried to process her words.

Of course he knew his father's health wasn't the best, but he never thought it was this bad.

"Mother it can't be. He has to-"

"He _is."_ The Empress retorted forcefully, and the boy went silent.

"So even if it is unfair towards you, you have to bare it my child. Not for yourself, but for the sake of the nation and this family."

Jaemin gulped nervously, the seriousness of the situation hitting him fully.

Even if he didn't want to, he had no choice in the matter did he?

In the end, he was bound by his duty to the nation.

Jaemin sighed, and this was when things turned from bad to worse.

"There is something else we have to ask from you child. Something that you won't like, but it has be done."

Looking at the Empress, Jaemin frowned.

"What is it Mother?"

When she opened her mouth, his heart _shattered._

___

Donghyuck was once again at home watching television.

He was watching some rerun of an old drama when his sister suddenly run into the room, grabbing the remote from him.

"Yena!" He whined in disbelief, making her stick her tongue out at him.

"Deal with it. I'm watching the live telecast of Prince Jaemin's speech."

That made Donghyuck roll his eyes at his older sister.

She was obsessed with the royal family, constantly watching everything that had to do with them. When Prince Jaeho passed away, she had even locked herself in her room to cry for days.

Donghyuck could only sigh and try to ignore her when she hit his arm in excitement from seeing Prince Jaemin on screen.

"Oh my god isn't he so handsome?" She said dreamingly, making him look at her oddly.

"Noona, he's _my_ age. I thought you said you don't go for younger guys?"

"I can make exceptions!"

He rolled his eyes at her nonsense reasoning, deciding to pay attention to the screen.

The Emperor was making his speech first about some kind of police change. It was all boring stuff so Donghyuck didn't bother to listen, focusing on the side of the screen while Prince Jaemin stood next to his father with Lee Jeno by his side.

Prince Renjun was there, as he usually was nowadays, but he stood separate from the family with a guard by his side.

Donghyuck felt like he knew a little too much when he could identify the guard as Yukhei, who was always with Prince Renjun.

Yukhei had gathered a fanbase of his own here for his good looks. He was also said to be quite nice as well.

But Donghyuck didn't really care for him focusing on the prince instead. He had to admit that Prince Jaemin did look good. He seemed to have cut his hair or something because he looked somewhat different from the last time he saw him.

And then it was time for Prince Jaemin to speak, going up to the podium. 

At first, Donghyuck didn't pay attention, thinking that he was probably talking about boring stuff, but when Yena yelled out-loud in shock and hit his arm again harder than ever, he looked at the screen.

 _"Oh my god. Oh my god!_ Did you hear what he just said Hyuck? Did you?!"

"Can you elaborate for me noona?"

"I can't believe you weren't paying attention Lee Donghyuck! He literally just said he was about to get crowned!"

Wait...

_What?!_

"Are you serious?!" Donghyuck exclaimed in shock. "But he's only _eighteen,_ how is he about to get crowned?!"

"I don't know! But that's what happening!" Yena screamed back.

Donghyuck looked back at the TV screen. Prince Jaemin was still talking so he focused on what he was saying.

_"In the summer of the next year I will be crowned Emperor. I know I am still young and ignorant, but I will do my best to rule this nation well."_

Donghyuck frowned, noting that something was off about the boy. 

He looked... defeated.

_"And as per my father's advise... I will be holding... Holding my own Consort Selection."_

Again, Donghyuck couldn't believe what he was hearing and neither did his sister by how silent she suddenly was.

"Hyuck, am I hearing this correctly?" Yena asked after a long stretch of silence, sounding so in disbelief that he almost thought that maybe this was some kind of sick dream.

But it wasn't.

Once Yena realised that, she jumped from the couch, yelling about how she had to tell the girls about this, leaving him sitting there by himself in shock.

Donghyuck only moved once he realised that his phone was ringing. 

The number belonged to Yeri, which could only mean one thing.

"Are you listening to this Donghyuck?! Did you hear the crap Na Jaemin just spat out?! Consort Selection?! A freaking _Consort Selection?!_ Who does he think he is?! I know he's a prince but that doesn't mean we're willing to be a glorified mistress for him! God can you hear how pissed I am Hyuck? I'm sure you can. You must be as pissed as I am right?" Yeri asked after she finished ranting, but oddly enough, Donghyuck couldn't bring him to agree with her for once.

He didn't feel the same way about this.

But it wasn't like he could admit it to Yeri. The girl would blow a fuse and go on and on about how demeaning a Consort Selection was and how it belonged back in the 1800s and not in the modern day.

So he merely hummed in agreement as an excuse, letting her go back to screaming indignantly about it.

_A Consort Selection..._

Donghyuck wondered what changes this could bring.

___

Jeno kept a blank face throughout Jaemin's speech, only breaking once they were back-stage.

He wobbled, having to lean on a nearby table to support himself.

"Jeno, are you okay?" He heard Jaemin ask, flinching away when he tried to touch him.

"Jeno..."

Something in him _snapped_ when he heard the hurt in Jaemin's tone, turning to glare furiously at him.

"Don't you _dare."_ He spat out angrily.

"What do you mean-"

"Don't act as though you don't know what's wrong!" Jeno exclaimed, feeling tears raise.

"Look Jeno, I know this looks bad I do but-"

"I don't care about that Jaemin!" He cut the boy off, feeling a little offended when he saw the shock spread on his face.

"God I don't care about that at all. What is care about is that _you never told me._ This is the sort of thing that should have been discussed between us Jaemin!"

Jaemin sighed, suddenly looking tired. "I know that, I do. I just wasn't sure how you would react to it Jeno."

Jeno scoffed at that, "What? Did you really think I would get jealous or something? Jaemin, I know when it's time to use my head over my heart. I wouldn't have allowed my feelings to get in the way of what has to be done."

He was better than that. Jaemin should have had more faith in him.

"Okay, I know I screwed up Jeno." Jaemin admitted, looking ashamed of himself. Good.

"Yeah, you did. I thought we were in this together Jaemin. Your the only reason why I'm even putting up with all this crap that's being thrown at me. You think I'm happy at the thought of you having a Consort Selection? Or that you're going to have to marry someone else? No, I'm not. But I endured all of it because it's you. But yet you... You can't seem to give me that same faith." 

Jeno was more disappointed than anything else.

"Let me fix this. I can-"

"You can't just fix this Jaemin. I need some time. To _myself."_

He could see the look in Jaemin's eyes, that fearful look that spoke volumes.

He was scared that he wouldn't return.

For once, Jeno didn't give him an answer.

___

Whenever Renjun needed a break from reality, there was one place he used to go in the Palace.

The garden.

It had been his safe haven back in China, a place of serenity and calmness.

He particularly loved the pond there with it's many lotus flowers.

It was a pity that the Korean Palace didn't have a pond. Or maybe it was just that he hadn't discovered it yet.

Renjun had been too busy with official events to really explore his new surroundings, so he wasn't really sure where everything was.

He did know that there was supposedly a huge garden near his Palace that he was determined to find.

Renjun needed a break, and this was the perfect way to end his long day.

He left Yukhei behind despite the guard's protest, feeling relatively safe in the Palace, and it wasn't like he would be much help considering how directional challenged he was at times.

Luckily with a bit of whining that he needed some alone time, the elder gave in and let him go on his own.

So right now Renjun was finally by himself as he found the garden he was searching for.

It was quite dark, but he could tell that the garden was lush with different flowers. 

He could imagine how beautiful it would be in the daytime with all the different colours blooming under the sunlight.

Just the thought of it was enough to calm him.

Renjun made his way slowly through the garden, leaning in curiously to examine a flower every few steps.

There were so many he hadn't seen before. Maybe he could ask for a few seeds to plant in the small garden in his Palace.

With how distracted he was, Renjun nearly missed the footsteps approaching him.

He stiffened, quickly bracing himself in case he needed to fight as he spun around.

"Who's there?!"

Jaemin stood in front of him with his hands up in the air, eyes wide.

Oh.

Renjun blushed, feeling a little embarrassed now.

"W-What are you doing here?" He stuttered out, cringing at how weak he sounded.

"I could ask you the same." Jaemin returned.

"I was just out here for a walk."

"Well so am I."

Renjun took a good look at Jaemin, noting that he seemed unusually serious.

While he hadn't known the fellow prince for long, he did know that the boy was cheerful by nature, something that surprised Renjun when he first met him since most other princes he had met were serious due to their heavy responsibilities.

He could remember how carefree his older brother Sicheng had been as a child, easy to smile and laugh only to have his personality put out the older he got.

Thinking of his brother made Renjun a little sad honestly. He missed them.

He shook off the feeling, smiling brightly at Jaemin. "Then do you want to walk together?" Renjun asked.

Jaemin hesitated for a moment. He could understand why.

The two of them hadn't been introduced to each other in the best of circumstances, and Renjun hadn't really made any effort till now to speak to Jaemin.

Maybe that could change.

"Sure why not." Jaemin cracked a small smile at that.

The two of them walked side by side in comfortable silence through the garden.

Renjun kept glancing over at Jaemin, a question on the tip of his tongue, but unable to ask.

"Did something happen?" He finally blurted out, thinking that this was a safe question to start with.

"Don't you already know? You were there." 

Oh. So Jaemin knew that he knew. Well at least it would make it easier to talk about.

"You got me there. You and Jeno had a pretty bad fight back there."

Jaemin hummed in response, before asking, "Why did you agree to it?"

Renjun knew what he was referring to immediately. "I wouldn't if I had a choice." He admitted.

"You can't tell me the truth?" Jaemin asked.

Renjun hesitated for a moment, because he knew, he knew that telling him would be the right thing to do, but...

"I'm sorry." He said instead, feeling ashamed of himself.

"It's okay. Everybody has their own secrets. You have yours, I have mine."

Jaemin was kind. Maybe even a little too kind. 

"I hope you know I didn't agree to it to ruin your relationship with Jeno. I had no intention of that. In fact I actually think you two are cute together." Renjun blurted out, not wanting the other to get the wrong impression of him.

It was better that they both get along since they were going to be stuck together for life. Renjun didn't want to be miserable for the next fifty odd years.

"You think we're cute?" 

Renjun groaned. Of course Jaemin would focus on that out of his entire rant.

"Well the videos on YouTube speak for themselves. You guys are like, shipped by the entire nation."

Really, Renjun wasn't expecting all the videos that showed up when he searched up the two of them for curiosity. Heck, they even had a ship name called Nomin.

"Really? I didn't know that..."

Renjun looked at the boy in shock, jaw dropping a little. "How did you not know that Jaemin? Your videos are almost always trending!" He was almost offended by Jaemin's lack of knowledge.

"Well... I don't have much time to go on YouTube these days." He muttered out an excuse, making Renjun raise a brow.

"Really? There's videos of you guys dating back to 2013."

"How do you even know so much? It's actually sort of creepy..."

"I'm good at researching. I had to find out as much as I could about you since we're going to, you know, get married and all that." He trailed off awkwardly, now feeling a little bad for mentioning their impending marriage.

"Hey Renjun," Jaemin didn't sound angry when he called out his name, "If you had a choice... Would you have agreed to marry me?"

That was an easy question.

"Nope. No offense, but I barely know anything about you. I actually think I wouldn't have gotten married at all if not for this arrangement. I guess that's the only thing I could be grateful towards my father for. You must feel the same way right?"

Jaemin sighed. "Yeah... Things would have been so much easier if... If my brother hadn't passed away."

True. But life worked in mysterious ways, so they had no choice but to try to make it work as best they could.

"Let's not think of the possibilities and just focus on what we have to do now. If we think too much it's only going to make our head hurt more." Renjun joked, trying to lighten the mood.

"Yeah, I guess your right. Your not so bad Renjun."

"Your not so bad yourself Jaemin." 

Jaemin laughed at that, finally smiling widely.

Renjun liked his smile a lot.

"You know I'm curious about something."

"What is it?"

"Does the Chinese royal family really use VPN?"

"Who do you think we are?" Renjun made himself sound offended, enjoying the panic spreading across Jaemin's face for a little bit before grinning.

"Of course we do."


	4. IV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A filler chapter, but after this things pick up

Jaemin was _so_ not ready.

"Do we really have to do this?" He asked Doyoung, who was helping to fix his tie.

The advisor rolled his eyes, "They're already here. You can't back out now." He reminded, giving the tie one last firm tug.

"I know that but... I don't think this is right." Jaemin admitted worriedly.

"Then you shouldn't have agreed to it in the first place Jaemin."

"That's a low blow and you know it."

Doyoung only patted down his suit before adding his final words of wisdom. "It doesn't matter whether it's a low blow. I'm just here to make you see sense."

"As if I don't already." Jaemin grumbled.

"Then I'm here to make you see _more_ sense." Doyoung retorted, looking him in the eye. "You have to admit that you have a tendency to be quite reckless at times Jaemin."

He opened his mouth, about to argue back when he realised that Doyoung was right. Like always.

"I can't never win an argument against you." He groaned in annoyance.

"Your not supposed to. That's why I'm the advisor and your the prince." Doyoung teased, wanting to lighten the mood.

A tiny smile curled on Jaemin's lips at that before he asked, "Do you know if Renjun is ready yet?"

Doyoung nodded, "Yup."

Jaemin gulped, "Then do you know if.... If..."

"If your asking about Jeno then yes, surprisingly he is here. He just showed up a few minutes ago so it was probably a last minute decision."

Jaemin closed his eyes in relief. He had thought that- "Good, that's good." He cut off his thoughts, unwilling to go there.

"Do you want to see Renjun before we go out?" Doyoung asked.

It was a bit of an odd question, but somehow it felt right in this situation so Jaemin nodded his head.

It was then that there was a knock on the door.

"Come in!" He called out, a little surprised when Yukhei poked his head in.

If Yukhei was here than that meant, "Renjun!" The boy appeared from behind his giant of a guard, dressed in a suit just like he was.

"Ooh, you look fancy Jaemin." Renjun teased.

"Right back at you." He retorted, even throwing in a wink for good measure. Renjun pretended like he was throwing up, making Jaemin laugh.

"Are you ready?" Renjun asked afterwards.

Jaemin could only sigh at that, "As ready as I can be I guess. I really don't get why I have to do this. Can't they just choose by themselves?" He whined, ignoring the glare from Doyoung as he fidgeted needlessly with his suit.

"But your the one who's going to be with them for life. Better to have an opinion than not."

"I know that..." Jaemin trailed off, unable to continue.

He felt sorry actually.

Not for himself, not for Jeno, not for Renjun.

Whoever was to be chosen would forever be subject to unfairness, because Jaemin was sure that there would be no place in his heart for them.

"Hey," Renjun called out, seemingly able to read his thought, "Don't look so sad. You wouldn't want to scare your suitors off."

He rolled his eyes, "Don't call them that."

"That's what they are though. Look Jaemin, all of them are here by their own free will. You didn't hold them at gunpoint and demand that they participate. They made their own choice. Now it's your turn."

Right.

_Right._

It was their choice in the end. He didn't have to feel guilty about anything.

Jaemin put on a smile, trying hard to hide his nerves. "Thanks Renjun. Let's go."

He braced himself one final time before walking out of his room with Renjun by his side.

___

"Donghyuck! LEE DONGHYUCK!"

The boy groaned at the sound of his sister's voice, only growing more annoyed when he opened his eyes only to be met with light flooding in from the opened blinds.

"Leave me alone." The words came out muffed as he turned to bury his face into his pillow.

"Get your ass out of bed right now. There's something I have to show you!" Yena hissed, grabbing his leg and pulling him out of his blankets.

Donghyuck tumbled to the floor, blinking blankly at the ceiling for a few seconds.

"I hate you." He deadpanned, completely serious.

"Oh I know, but you have to look at this." Yena replied, shoving what looked like a piece of paper in his face.

"A letter?" Donghyuck muttered in confusion, holding the letter in his hands.

Yena rolled her eyes at him, "Not just any letter. Look at the crest."

What cre-

_Oh._

There was a symbol of a red dragon stamped onto the letter, one that Donghyuck recognised immediately.

 _"The Royal Family?!"_ His words came out screechy in his near-panic at what this meant.

Why had he suddenly received this letter? Was he the only one? What was even going on?!

"Don't worry. I received one as well. The contents should be the same." Yena said.

Donghyuck narrowed his eyes, trying to search her face for any hints of what this meant, only to come up empty as she kept her face carefully blank.

"I'll read it later."

Suddenly Yena's calm facade was gone. " You can't! You have to read it now!"

"Why?"

"Because it's an invitation to the Consort Selection!" She blurted out before clamping a hand over her mouth.

"Okay, then there's no need to read this." Donghyuck answered calmly, flinging the letter away from him.

While he wasn't exactly against it, he also wasn't really interested in it. Like Yeri had said, it was being a glorified mistress.

"B-B-But you can't just say no!"

"And where does it say I can't reject it? Thousands of these letters have been sent out to all available. I'm sure they won't miss one."

Donghyuck knew that there were some requirements for the Consort Selection, such as being within the ages of 18-21, being single and having a clean record. After all, whoever's chosen would be a reflection of the Royal Family so they had to put some standards in place. There were thousands of others who fit those requirements, not just him.

"Ugh, why couldn't they have just sent it out through email? Look at how many trees they probably killed." He commented dramatically, rolling his eyes.

Yena pouted, "You know we have a better chance than most at getting chosen due to our bloodline. Don't you want to become royalty?"

"Noona, our _noble and pure_ bloodline hasn't stopped us from struggling to get by. Do you really think becoming royalty would help?" Donghyuck retorted.

Maybe if there was some kind of benefit like monetary help he would be more inclined to take part. But there wasn't as far as he knew.

"Well... We can ask if we get chosen. I'm sure they'll agree!" Yena stated brightly, but her grin faltered after Donghyuck stared at her for five seconds straight without blinking.

Finally he sighed, closing his eyes. "You know what, do whatever you want. Either ways I'm pretty sure I won't get chosen." 

Carriers were still treated as something unknown, so Donghyuck had faced his own fair share of discrimination due to his ability to have children.

It was actually sort of ironic that the Royal Family was one of the first to open up to the idea with the engagement to Prince Renjun and Lee Jeno who were both fellow carriers.

He supposed that due to that, people were not as bold in their discrimination, but it was still there on all levels of society.

Heck, there were even protests when Lee Jeno announced his engagement to Prince Jaemin that had to be broken up by the police.

Those were an ugly few days that exposed the kind of treatment carriers like him faced.

So Donghyuck was certain that they wouldn't choose a third carrier.

"Don't say that. Maybe Prince Jaemin will like you!" Yena argued back passionately.

Donghyuck only rolled his eyes, "I don't really care. Do whatever you want." He repeated, climbing back onto the bed to go back to sleep.

"Really?" Yena sounded surprised at that as Donghyuck groaned in reply.

"Yeah, now leave me alone so I can sleep." His words were muffed, but his sister heard them loud and clear by the way she suddenly squealed in excitement, nearly rendering him deaf in the progress.

If Donghyuck had known about what was to happen, maybe he would have paid a bit more attention.

But for now, all he did was fall back to sleep.

___

"Jeno? Aren't you coming out?" Taeil's worried voice carried through the door as fidgeted with the knob to try to get it to open.

Jeno would have ignored him like he did everybody else if the guilt hadn't started overwhelming him.

He wasn't the type to act out or even get tantrums. Jeno had always been the calm, peaceful type, but these past few days have been testing him to the point that he just didn't want to deal with anyone.

So with that in mind, he successfully ignored everybody that tried to get him to open the door, even his grandmother.

But as he started to think about what he was doing, Jeno started feeling bad.

He was being immature.

So he made his way over to the door and unlocked it. Not having expected it, Taeil stumbled inside, nearly falling if he hadn't managed to catch his balance at the last second.

"Well that could have been a disaster." Taeil laughed awkwardly, glancing over to Jeno in slight embarrassment.

He smiled slightly, not wanting to seem totally down, but it probably didn't work with the look of concern that spread over the elder's face.

"You don't have to pretend you know. Not in front of me." Taeil said gently, eyes kind.

Jeno had to look away. There was no way he could ever lie to Taeil unfortunately, the elder had taken care of him ever since he was a little boy.

Sometimes he wished he could though.

"I know..." Jeno trailed off, walking over so that he could plop onto the bed.

"Are you really not going to go?" Taeil asked after a long pause.

"To what?" Jeno lied.

"You know, the Consort Selection."

Just the thought of it made him sadder as he buried his face into his blankets. "No!"

"It's better that you do. At least you'll get to say something in regards to whoever's chosen." Taeil kindly advised.

"What does it matter what I think? I'm not the one marrying whoever it is." Jeno snapped out.

Taeil frowned, "But your still going to marry Jaemin. Right?" He asked, unsure now.

Jeno couldn't answer, having wondered the same. 

Jaemin made him happy, that he knew. But what he didn't know is if the prince could continue to give him that happiness in the future.

"I... Don't know. It's complicated." Jeno muttered.

Taeil took a while to reply, too deep in thought. "... Look Jeno, I may not understand what your going through, but as someone who knows you, I know that you _will_ regret not going."

He glanced over at the elder, insecurity showing in his eyes, "Do you really think so?"

Taeil nodded, "I know so. So even if it's difficult, get up, get ready, and we're going."

Sometimes Jeno was really glad that Taeil was around so that he could give him a forceful kick in the right direction.

So Jeno got ready, quickly putting on the nearest suit he could find and fixing his awkful bed-hair as much as he could before hurrying out the door.

"We only have thirty minutes to get there, so you better buckle up tight." Taeil warned as soon as they got into the car.

He was correct, because Jeno was sure he was about to throw up by the end of the drive.

He wasn't really given time to recover though as he was immediately whisked off to a dressing room by maids that were touching his hair and his clothing in an effort to make him look nicer.

"Jeno!" Doyoung called out his name as he opened the doors, smiling happily at the boy as he reached in for a hug.

"Where's Jaemin?" 

"Oh, he and Prince Renjun are waiting in the hall."

Jeno felt sick again. "Renjun?" He muttered the name worriedly.

Doyoung seemed to understand his apprehension. "Don't worry. The prince is nice."

"That doesn't really mean anything to me, no offense." He replied.

Even if Renjun was the nicest person on the entire planet, there's no way Jeno can feel too comfortable around him.

Or maybe, that was just what he thought.

___

Renjun could feel his heart beating away like a drum in his chest.

His nerves were starting to rise as he looked over the suitors one by one.

There were more than he thought there would be. Renjun supposed there were a lot of people who still dreamt of being a prince or princess in this day and age.

As he observed, he noticed one who was dressed just slightly differently from the rest.

He had on a nice suit like everybody else, but he was wearing decisively _un_ formal shoes, red hightop sneakers in fact.

Quite an odd way to stand out, but the boy didn't really seem to care. Heck, he didn't even seem to be paying much attention to what was going on by the look of utter boredom that was on his face.

Renjun held in a smile, deciding that the boy was going to be interesting.

"Already, now it's time for the interview." Doyoung announced loudly, startling the poor boy who glanced around in panic for a few moments, clearly not understanding what was going on.

Renjun snickered quietly, only to pause when the boy looked straight at him like he heard.

The boy had a calm facial expression as he stared at him, making him stare back in slight confusion.

It was only after a few seconds that he finally looked away, sending Renjun out of his stupor.

He managed to find out the boy's name soon afterwards.

Lee Donghyuck.

___

**[enter-talk]** Who do you think is going to get chosen?

Crown Prince Jaemin's consort selection is on-going right now so I would like to see what your opinions are on who gets chosen.

****

**[post response]**

****

**[+2,274;-731]**

[+1,260;-306] Do people still bother gossiping about such things? The royal family is so out of date. I really don't like them, especially with this whole consort nonsense.

[+1,198;-401] I used not to care about what happens with the royal family, but this is ridiculous. A consort selection? Are we women live-stock to be purchased or something?

[1,032;-228] I wonder if they're allowing male carriers to take part. We all know what His Royal Highness tastes are ㅋ ㅋ 

[+821;-98] Why would they even need to hold a consort selection? Prince Jaemin already has Prince Renjun and Lee Jeno all lined up for him so what's the need? Is something going on at the Royal Palace?

[+612;-56] Honestly I'm envious of him. The rest of us have to settle for one yet he gets three. It's a good life as a prince huh?


	5. V

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been gone for a long time. Been busy working and working on other stories that I'm planning on writing. I will be updating more frequently now that I've got the storyline mostly figured out so enjoy the chapter :)

Jaemin felt bored honestly enough.

He sighed, wondering when this would end.

Glancing over at Renjun, he didn't seem to be having the same problems, happily engaging the suitors in conversation.

He was so much better than he was at this.

Just another reason why he shouldn't have been Crown Prince.

Jaemin sighed once again at his thoughts, wondering why they were going off into dark places.

He tried to refocus just as the next person was ushered in.

The boy stood awkwardly in the middle of the room, mouth set in a thin worried look as he glanced across at all of them.

Unlike all of the others, he looked at him straight-on with no hint of hesitation or fear.

On his feet were a pair of red high-sneakers that stood out in stark detail compared to his black suit.

Jaemin knew that one could tell a lot from a person's appearance, and this told him that the boy didn't actually care so much about all this if he couldn't bother to find a better pair of shoes.

"Lee Donghyuck am I right?" Renjun asked from beside him, startling the boy a little.

"Y-Yes I am. Sorry. I wasn't expecting that you would know my name." Donghyuck frowned a little for some reason.

Jaemin glanced over at Doyoung, a silent question in his eyes.

The advisor makes his way over, leaning down to whisper into his ear, "That boy is a grandchild of Lee Seokhan. His clan is still fairly popular among the older generation."

"Anything else?" He asked, knowing that Doyoung had a habit of leaving out information.

"... His family's fallen on hard times recently. But that's it." Quickly he moved back.

It was a little strange honestly. Doyoung's behaviour. Jaemin would have to find out more later, but he pushed it aside for now.

Lee Seokhan was a bit of a legend in Korea. He was a prominent freedom fighter during the occupation, but from what he knew, his family had fallen on hard times.

Maybe that was why Donghyuck was here.

Jaemin wouldn't judge him for it, but it certainly made him a little more warily.

"You should sit down." Jeno called out politely. 

Donghyuck looked surprised at being addressed, and honestly so were the rest of them. This was the first time Jeno had spoken since the selection started.

Even though Jeno kept a neutral face, Jaemin could tell that it was eating away at his nerves.

A part of him wanted Jeno to look at him, but he wouldn't, and Jaemin could understand why.

He had put the boy through a lot, maybe even too much.

The sound of the chair being pulled out brought him out of his stupor.

Donghyuck was a lot shyer now, playing with his hands on the table, a furrow being made between his brows.

As he examined him closer, Jaemin had admit that the male was actually quite pretty. 

He had sun-kissed skin with big, sparkly eyes, a small button nose and full lips.

Donghyuck did fit the image for a consort, but he had a feeling that there was more to the boy than just pretty looks.

"So," The boy started, "What am I supposed to do?" He asked.

"Why did you decide to come here?" Renjun asked straightforwardly.

When he had asked this question to all the other suitors, most of their expressions on their faces had immediately given them away as they panicked.

Donghyuck, on the other hand, other than looking a little surprised didn't seem fazed.

"Well... To be honest, it wasn't me that wanted to come." He admitted. "It was my older sister who wanted to come and she dragged me into it. But then today she suddenly got sick and told me to come on my own, so I did."

Jaemin stared at him for a moment, realising that he was indeed a little different from the rest.

"But you could have just stayed behind if you wanted to. After all you did say you weren't the one who wanted to come." He butted in, purposely trying to push the boy's buttons.

Donghyuck frowned at that, eyes lighting up with fire. "I told noona that I was going, so of course I have to go."

"Oh, so your the type to keep your promises?"

"To the best of my ability, yes." He answered, sounding a little frustrated.

 _How amusing. I like him,_ Jaemin quickly decided.

"But then what if you were chosen as my consort? What would you have done then?" He continued to ask.

Jaemin knew that everybody was looking at him surprised, and honestly he was to, not having expected those words to come out from his mouth.

Was he actually seriously considering it?

He quickly shook his head to get rid of the idea, not daring to look anywhere else but ahead for fear of seeing either Renjun or Jeno's expression.

He knew Jeno didn't like this, and Jaemin didn't want to know what kind of look was on his face.

Donghyuck looked extremely surprised, big eyes going even wider as his jaw dropped a little.

It would have been comical if not for the fact that this situation wasn't.

Jaemin knew that his words would end up being used against him, even if he had meant it mainly as a joke.

 _God, what have I done?_ He wondered to himself in despair.

"I'm sorry your Highness," Donghyuck started, "But your kidding right?"

"I mean-you must be. There's no way you could be serious. Me? Of all people, me? I have healthy self-confidence your Highness but I won't kid myself with thinking that I can become a part of the Royal Family. I came here as a one-time deal. I'm not here to stay." He rambled, getting more and more panicked as he talked.

Jaemin winched a little, somehow feeling a little sad that someone was this unwilling to live with him.

"Okay, I think that's enough Donghyuck-sshi." Doyoung stepped in, realising that this situation was getting a bit out of hand.

He moved over to the boy who still sat frozen in his chair, finally getting him to move from his stare-off with Jaemin.

"Y-Yes. I'm terribly sorry for my behaviour." Donghyuck added, bowing in apology last minute before quickly dashing out of the room.

"Well... that was dramatic." Renjun muttered, feeling awkward in the silence left behind.

"Yeah, that was dramatic." Jeno agreed, voice colder than Jaemin has ever heard before.

"Jeno-"

"Save it for someone who actually cares to listen." 

Jaemin was rendered speechless, all his words dying in his throat as he watched the boy stomp outside.

He closed his eyes in defeat as Doyoung rushed past him to go after Jeno.

"Jaemin..." Renjun whispered.

He took in a deep breath, feeling his lungs start to burn, his chest starting to ache.

This was too much. This was all just too much.

"I need some space." He choked out, trying hard not to break down. _"Please."_

Silently Renjun left the room as well, and Jaemin realised that this was much more worse.

Now, he really was all alone.

___

Donghyuck was reeling.

What had he done? Why did he even freak out like that?

What did the Royal Family think of him now? He humiliated himself in front of the prince by freaking out like that and also him by extension.

God, the look on his face...

What if they hated him now? He couldn't have the Royal Family hating him. That would mean his life was over!

"Are you okay?"

Donghyuck jumped, eyes widening as he turned towards the voice.

In front of him stood Prince Renjun with a kind smile on his face that left the boy dumbfounded.

Renjun let out a small laugh at the comical look on his face, walking closer to him.

"I see your admiring the roses?" He asked teasingly.

What?

It was only then that Donghyuck noticed that he was in the Palace garden, surrounded by beautiful roses.

"They're pretty?" The statement came out more like a question, making it clear that he wasn't admiring the roses.

"That's okay. Looking at the roses will make you feel better." Renjun answered, and it was like a lightbulb went off in his head.

"Your trying to make me feel better..." 

Renjun smiled sheepishly. "Yeah, I don't think it's working very well though."

"No, I'm just not very good at being comforted." Donghyuck retorted, not wanting to make the prince feel bad.

Renjun hummed, looking away from him and into the distance.

Like this, under the sunlight, Donghyuck could believe that Renjun was some elf prince from a fairytale kingdom right out of the books he would read.

He was nicer than he had ever expected honestly. Way nicer.

Donghyuck ended up so distracted that he completely missed what Renjun said next, only noticing the expectant look on the prince's face.

"Excuse me?"

"Were you so distracted by my handsomeness that you couldn't bother to listen to my words?" Renjun teased.

Maybe Donghyuck would take his words back.

He rolled his eyes as hard as he could, making Renjun laugh at that.

As his laughter started to die, he answered, "I was actually asking, if you were the independent sort. From the way you answered back in the hall, you strike me as someone who does his own thing without caring about what others think. Would I be correct?"

Donghyuck was a little surprised, because Renjun was correct. Somehow he managed to sense through his words into the heart of who he was.

It was quite eerie actually.

"Am I that easy to read?" He asked, genuinely curious.

Renjun shrugged, "I'm good at reading people." He leaned in closer, like he was about to tell him a secret. "You have to be in order to survive in the palace."

Donghyuck wasn't sure what to make of his words when Renjun leaned back, a small smile still playing on his lips.

There was a look in his eyes that worried him a little. Something that spoke of _sadness._

Suddenly all his amusement vanished into thin air as he stared at Renjun.

As easily as the prince had gotten him, Donghyuck couldn't say the same back.

Renjun's smile died when the casual atmosphere went away. "Don't look at me like that." He muttered unhappily.

"Like what?" Donghyuck retorted, wanting to know what had him on edge suddenly.

"Like... Like _that._ I don't like it." Renjun was unable to explain what it was that bothered him.

"If you can't even explain it, how am I supposed to stop it your Highness?" He asked, purposely using the formal title to put distance between them.

Donghyuck didn't miss the slight flinch that Renjun had, feeling a little bad since that wasn't what he intended.

"Your really something Lee Donghyuck." Renjun muttered under his breath, so low that the boy nearly missed it.

The prince then got up, about to leave when Donghyuck suddenly called out to him.

"Wait!" Renjun turned back to face him. "What do you mean by that?"

He took a while to answer, leaving Donghyuck stewing in anxiety before he began to speak.

"Have you ever imagined what your future was going to be like?"

The boy frowned, not sure where Renjun was going with this before slowly nodding.

"So then tell me, is the reason why you seem so unwilling to be a Royal Consort because you genuinely don't want to, or is it because your scared?"

Donghyuck froze, staring up at Renjun.

There were many things he wanted to say, most of all was that his accusation was ridiculous. But yet he couldn't, because he was right. Maybe not fully, but he had gotten at least a part of the truth.

"You know... I think it's both when it comes to you." Renjun started. "You don't care when it comes to the theatrics and drama the Royal Family has to deal with, but your still curious about them. You want the luxury they can provide, just not any of the add-ons that comes with it." 

Donghyuck was unnerved by the accuracy of his words.

"A part of you still fights against it though, because you think it's wrong that you want it. You don't think you deserve you, and yet you still want it nonetheless, causing a conflict within you..." Renjun concluded.

Donghyuck felt like he had been turned inside-out, every single thought in his head exposed for Renjun to look at. God, it was-

"There's no need to be embarrassed you know." Renjun spoke.

Hesitantly the boy glanced up at the prince. Strangely enough, there was no judgement in his face.

"It's okay to want good things in life. You shouldn't hate yourself for it. So take your time thinking about your future, because more paths may be available to you than you think Donghyuck."

With those cryptic words, Renjun turned to leave.

Donghyuck was left with only confusion, and a whole lot of headache.

___

"Jeno! JENO!"

He could hear Doyoung hurrying after him, but really Jeno just wanted to be left alone for once.

He already knew he shouldn't have gone, but yet here he was having to put up with all this nonsense.

Suddenly he stopped moving, freezing so fast that Doyoung nearly run into him.

"Jeno?"

"Hyung, I'm making too much of a big deal out of this. Right?" He asked, turning to face the elder.

Honestly, he didn't know what answer he was expecting, because both answers open up cans of worms that he probably wasn't prepared to be faced with right now.

Doyoung's face only softened. "Do you really expect me to answer that? If I say yes, your only going to take it as you being overly obsessive towards Jaemin, and if I say no, it's only going to break your heart more."

Jeno's face crumbled as tears sprung to his eyes. "Then what am I supposed to do hyung? Why is this so hard? I want to be fine with this, I really do but I can't. I try and try and yet it comes down to it I get mad and it's so frustrating! And now I'm lashing out at Jaemin when it isn't even his fault and-and, I can't take this anymore. I _don't want to."_

It's a scary realisation, a heartbreaking one in fact, because Jeno doesn't want to feel this way. He doesn't want to have to walk away, but that's what every pore in his body is telling him to do and honestly, maybe it was for the best that he steps away.

"Do you really think so Jeno?" Doyoung asked.

The boy took a while to answer before finally nodding his head. "Y-Yeah. I can't do this anymore, for the sake of my own sanity hyung. I-I can't."

Doyoung's face looked just as conflicted as he felt. "... If you say so Jeno. Even if I'm not meant to, I am on your side." He stated, expression hardening.

"Thank you hyung..."

"What do you want to do then. Are you breaking off the engagement with Jaemin?"

Doyoung looks calculating as he said this, and usually Jeno would feel uneasy, but this time it felt reassuring.

"I... don't know. This would be a bad time to do it. I don't want to damage the Royal Family's reputation too badly, plus I'll have to tell my family first. It's all very complicated."

"Well then, tell me when you come to a decision so I can help you. Don't put it off for too long."

Jeno nodded, knowing that he can't." Do I... Do I have to go back to the hall?" He asked.

"I think we're done for the day after that. You don't have to show up tomorrow if you don't want to."

"Okay..." Jeno muttered, slowly turning back around.

He nearly stumbles, not quite knowing where to place his feet. His hands are shaking uncontrollably.

This time, Doyoung didn't stop him from leaving.

___

Renjun stared blankly at the empty seat across from his, mind wandering off for a moment.

"I want Lee Donghyuck." He blurted out suddenly, shifting his eyes to meet Doyoung.

"Lee Donghyuck? But that boy is nowhere near prepared." The advisor argued back, and there's something in his stance that reminds him of a animal about to attack.

He's nervous, incredibly so for some reason.

"We can prepare him though. We can teach him everything there is to know about Palace life." Renjun countered.

Doyoung frowned, looking displeased. "Prince Jaemin?" He called out.

Jaemin startled to attention, having spent the entire morning in a daze. "Y-Yes?"

"I want Lee Donghyuck." Renjun stated, unwilling to change his mind.

Jaemin looked confused for a second, glancing between Doyoung and him before realisation sets in on his face.

"Your Highness, Donghyuck is not someone suitable for the Palace. I suggest we go with someone else, like Jeon Heejin for example."

Renjun frowned, calmly watching what Jaemin would decide in the end.

"... Fine, let's go with your suggestion hyung." Jaemin gave in.

Renjun could only roll his eyes, feeling a little annoyed at being defeated. 

"If you don't like her Renjun, we'll send her back." The younger added in an attempt to comfort him.

"It's fine. We'll see how she'll do." Renjun replied.

He wasn't one to let personal feelings get in the way of what needed to be done. If Jeon Heejin had been chosen, he had to check her out for himself.

"Before you release the announcement, I want to at least get to know her a little. Hold it back for a day." Renjun asked.

"As you wish Your Highness." Doyoung bowed, taking the opportunity to leave the room.

It was awkward with just him with Jaemin in the room. He hadn't really gotten the chance to talk to him recently, especially with what happened with Jeno.

"Hey Jaemin, do you want to do something with me?" Renjun asked.

"I'm not really in the mood no offense."

"Come on, I promise it'll be fun." He assured, reaching over to touch his arm.

Jaemin looked up at him, the tiny spark in his eyes growing. "Really?" He asked hesitantly.

"Yeah, let's go." Renjun nodded, pulling the prince easily out of his seat without resistance.

Turning around, he shot Jaemin a big smile before continuing on their way.

Renjun had hoped that Jaemin would have a good time, but by the time an hour was up, the prince was frowning as he glared at the dirt.

"Are you sure this is supposed to be fun?" Jaemin asked.

Renjun nodded, hands moving to pat the dirt he had planted a seed in gently. "Yeah, you don't find this fun?"

"Well... I think I was expecting something... _different."_ Jaemin admitted, attempting to copy him.

"Like what?"

"You know, sneaking out of the palace or something that would get us in trouble."

"Woah, I didn't know you were such a rebel. Unfortunately I don't know South Korea like you do, so you can't expect me to be the one taking you out." 

"Your right." Jaemin answered, moving closer to him. "Hey, do you want me to take you around Seoul when we have the chance?" He asked.

Renjun shrugged. "Sure, do you have any plans for when that would happen?"

Jaemin smiled for the first time in a while. It was a smile that lit up his entire face. It was the smile that Renjun was growing to enjoy a lot.

Maybe too much.

But he was ignoring that for now in favour of smiling back at him.

"Now go back to plucking up the weeds." He ordered.

Jaemin's smile immediately vanished at that. "I thought I did it all!"

"No you didn't. There's one right over there!" Renjun pointed out.

Jaemin grumbled under his breath, doing as he was told.

As Renjun watched, he couldn't help the small smile that grew on his lips.

Yup, he was definitely in over his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like this story pls leave a comment. It'll be so nice to hear feedback from you guys and will also give my confidence a boost


	6. VI

To Jaemin, the Palace represented all his worst fears.

It may have been where he grew up, but it definitely wasn't his home.

When he was younger he never understood the hollowness in his chest, only wondering how he could make it go away.

As he grew older, he learned how to conceal his emotions, how to fake a smile, how to act like everything was fine.

He learned that the hollowness he felt inside, would never go away.

He was bound to the Palace, bound to his family. But they weren't his anchor.

They were just another constraint.

Jaemin learned to live with it, for there was nothing that he could even do.

But as he looked at Renjun's face shining under the lights, he couldn't help but wish that they didn't have to.

"Where do you want to go first?" He asked, shaking himself out of it.

Renjun looked over at him, surprise written all over his expression like he had forgotten Jaemin was there with him.

"Well... Is there an arcade nearby? I've always wanted to go to an arcade." 

Jaemin wracked through his brain for a moment before nodding. "I know just the place. But first-" He pushed Renjun's hat further down his face, before adjusting his own.

"Have to make sure that we're covered up." He cheerfully declared.

"Are you sure this is enough to keep us safe? What if people recognise us?"

"Even if they do, people tend to think it's a mistake. They don't expect to see princes walking out in public. And besides, it won't be so bad if we get photographed together."

"Right. We have to act like we have even a semblance of a romantic relationship." Renjun rolled his eyes.

"Exactly." Jaemin responded. "Either ways don't worry too much. We have guards looking out for us after all."

Renjun looked around for a moment, probably wondering if he could spot them before looking back at him.

"See? They're expects at hiding." Jaemin smiled.

"Okay, okay, can we go now? I want to explore!" Renjun whined, quickly walking ahead of him.

Jaemin chuckled, feeling carefree in the moment as he called out the correct directions to the elder.

He knew that everybody had their own problems in life, but sometimes he thought that being an ordinary person would be easier.

No having cameras constantly in his face, no having to say speeches, no having to dress up and mingle with old man he couldn't care less about, no having to think about everything he did or say.

Everything would be so much easier, was what he thought.

"I win!" Renjun exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air out of excitement as the game proclaimed him the winner.

Jaemin groaned, having lost for the third time. "How are you so good at this? You suck at every other game, but at the game I enjoy the most you turn out to be a monster at it." He grumbled unhappily.

Renjun stuck his tongue out childishly. "That's my revenge toward you for not letting me win any other game!"

"Hey, it's not my fault you suck." Jaemin retorted, a little smile playing at his lips.

Renjun pushed him out of annoyance, nearly making him tumble out of his chair.

"Hey!"

"You deserved that. And since you lost, you have to pay up. You promised to buy me food." Renjun reminded.

Right. He did, because he thought he would win.

Well, Renjun couldn't eat that much right?

_Wrong._

He was, so, so, wrong.

"Do you have a bottomless pit for a stomach?" Jaemin questioned, watching as Renjun bit into his third cheese dog of the night, among other things that they ate

"That's because your the one paying." He replied, words muffled by the food in his mouth.

Of course. "Am I a cash cow to you?" Jaemin deadpanned.

Renjun smiled, shrugging. "I have my own money, but it's nicer to spend other people's money. Now come on, I have other things to try!" He announced, walking towards an area nearby full of food trucks.

"Your not done yet?!" 

"Nope!"

Jaemin could only sigh and follow him, trying not to laugh at his behaviour.

Renjun was... _Renjun._ That was the only way he could describe the boy.

He was so unabashedly himself, something that was refreshing in their world. Jaemin wasn't sure how it was possible honestly.

Something about Renjun made it easy for Jaemin to breath around him. 

It was easy to forget his worries when he was busy laughing like nothing mattered.

"Yah, wait for me!" 

___

"Come again!" Donghyuck yelled out as the final two customers walked away with their cups of tteokbokki.

Immediately his shoulders slumped in exhaustion. "Ugh, that was difficult." He complained, shoulders sore.

"We made it through though." Mark cheered, cleaning up the equipment.

"Yeah I guess. This is so tiring. Why did I even volunteer to help Taeyong hyung? He isn't even here!" Donghyuck grumbled.

He couldn't believe that their cousin would abandon them halfway through the night, claiming that he had something important to do and that he would come back.

"You were the one who said you wanted to do something nice Hyuck-ah. And besides, we only have an hour left before we can close." Mark replied, trying to comfort him.

Donghyuck sighed, stretching out his limbs. Mark was right, since there was only an hour left he should keep his spirits up. "Okay! Let's get this over with!"

As soon as he said this, two boys approached the van, faces covered by hats.

It was slightly weird, but Donghyuck ignored it, asking what they wanted.

The two boys froze. It was almost like they had recognised him.

"Excuse me? What is it you want?" He asked again, a little confused.

He realised why they had reacted weirdly when the boy on the left shyly raised his head, revealing a face that he had seen multiple times on the TV and once in real life.

_"Prince Jaemin?!"_

Donghyuck flinched at Mark's ear-piercing screech, having forgotten that the older boy was even there in the first place.

 _If that's Prince Jaemin then... That's Renjun._ The elder prince raised his head as well, shooting Donghyuck a sheepish look.

"What are you doing here?" Jaemin asked.

"Well what are _you_ doing here? Isn't it a little dangerous for you guys to be outside by yourselves?" He asked.

Donghyuck glanced around the area, noticing how other people were starting to pay attention to them.

Jaemin and Renjun also noticed, both swallowing nervously at how exposed they were.

Donghyuck made a snap decision. "Quick, get in!" He hissed, opening the door to the truck and gesturing for the two boys to get in.

Jaemin and Renjun did as told, ducking into the truck before Donghyuck spun around and began hitting Mark harshly.

"Yah, stop hitting me!" He cried out, ducking from his blows.

"Your an idiot for calling out his name!" Donghyuck huffed angrily.

"Well sorry for being caught off-guard." Mark retorted, rubbing his sore arm.

"How... are you two related?" Renjun asked hesitantly, looking between him and Mark in confusion.

Donghyuck smiled, "Oh, he's my boyfriend."

The looks of utter shock on their faces threatened to make him burst into laughter, but he barely managed to keep a straight face.

It wasn't until Mark hit him that he started to laugh.

"Ignore him, we're not dating." The eldest explained seeing Renjun and Jaemin's confusion. "We're cousins."

Donghyuck could only nod his head before calming himself down enough to explain. "Second cousins to be exact."

"I can't believe your still pulling that kind of joke. It got old years ago Donghyuck." Mark muttered.

The boy shrugged, "The reactions are always priceless. Just because you can't appreciate a good joke doesn't mean others can't old man." He added.

Mark rolled his eyes, "Right. You keep mentioning it so many times that I forget that I'm only a year older than you."

"Jeez, when did you become such a spoil-sport?" 

"When you were born. _Duh."_

Donghyuck rolled his eyes, turning to Jaemin and Renjun. "Ignore him. He can't appreciate the good things in life."

The two boys still look a little confused, but both nod their heads.

"Anyway, you two were about to order something right? Do you still want to order?" Mark asked, effectively changing the topic.

Renjun blinks before snapping back into reality. "Yeah sure, three tteokbokkis please." 

Donghyuck didn't miss the little nudge Jaemin gave Renjun at that. Interesting.

"Anyway, I really hope that you two aren't here on your own." He commented, trying not to think too hard over this entire situation. 

"Oh don't worry, we have guards nearby." Jaemin replied easily.

Donghyuck looked out, eyes squinting as he tried to imagine who they could be.

As expected, it was more difficult than he ima- "Is that them approaching us?" He asked, wondering if he was imagining the two giant men currently approaching the truck.

Jaemin took a look as well, nodding his head. "Yeah, Johnny and Lucas."

So his eyes weren't deceiving him. Donghyuck knew that they were giants, but he didn't realise just how big they were until he was seeing them in person.

The two of them were stone-faced as they approached the truck, making Donghyuck frown, feeling a little weary.

"How may I help you?" He asked unsurely.

"Your Highness?" Lucas called out, completely ignoring him.

"Yes?" Renjun replied, words muffled by the fact that he was currently stuffing himself with tteokbokki.

Honestly, in any other case this would be a serious situation, but the sight of Renjun with chipmunk cheeks nearly made Donghyuck laugh out loud.

"I presume your okay then?" There was a hint of teasing in his tone.

"Yeah,yeah." Renjun rolled his eyes. "Now can you stop with the perfect Korean? We both know you barely understand 0.1 percent of it."

Lucas immediately looked offended, face contorting into a hilarious expression. "That's not true! I'm perfectly good at Korean! Right?"

Donghyuck was a little shocked at the question being directed at him, freezing when Luca's eyes seemed to go wider than ever.

"Lucas your freaking him out. Calm down." Johnny spoke, patting the younger's back.

Lucas pouted, looking like a small child. 

"Jaemin?" Johnny called out to the boy. "We need to talk. Alone."

Jaemin made his way out of the vehicle, standing a distance away with Johnny as they had a conversation. It seemed like it was serious.

"Oh, who's that?" Lucas asked, looking at Mark who was trying his best to hide in the back.

Mark immediately flushed when Lucas smiled at him, a reaction that Donghyuck thought was interesting.

"Ah, this is Mark Lee. My cousin." He introduced, dragging the elder closer to Lucas.

"Hi." He shyly introduced himself, and from there the two of them hit it off, talking animatedly.

"They're getting along well." Donghyuck jumped at Renjun's voice, not having expected him so close.

Renjun merely smiled, offering him his cup. "Want some?" He asked.

"Why are you offering it to me? You should eat it."

"I can't finish everything. Come on, just take some." He urged.

Renjun really was a strange one. With the way he treated Donghyuck, he could have imagined that they were friends. But that was just his imagination. No way could a ordinary guy and a prince actually be friends.

He sighed, giving in for now.

"Don't you think Mark and Yukhei get along well? I know this is their first time meeting, but I can sense something between them. Can you?" Renjun asked.

Donghyuck hesitated to answer, thinking it over. 

Mark had always been on the shy side, not really talking to anyone. If it wasn't for the fact that Donghyuck was in the same school as him, he would have probably stayed by himself the entire time.

"Yeah, I can." He admitted. Mark needed someone to take him out of his shell and while he had succeeded to a certain extent, he couldn't fully do it by himself

Renjun giggled happily.

The light atmosphere vanished when Jaemin and Johnny returned from their talk, both looking serious.

Lucas also stopped talking to Mark, face shifting into an unreadable mask as Johnny stood next to him.

"Come on Renjun, we have to go." Jaemin tried not to sound too dark, injecting his signature cheerfulness into his words, only this time it felt a little... forced.

Donghyuck could only wonder what they had talked about that got him into such a mood.

Before Renjun left the truck though, he quickly turned back around, taking something out of his pocket with a smile. "Here. Keep the change." He muttered before quickly shoving it into his hand.

Donghyuck could only stare at his back in confusion as the four of them hurriedly left the area.

It was only once they were out of sight that he looked down at his hand, seeing a crumpled 50,000 won note in his palm.

Something about it displeased him.

"Oh woah!" Mark cheered, grabbing the note from him. "I can't believe he just gave such a large amount of money to us! This is great!"

Seeing how happy his cousin seemed, Donghyuck tried not to look too displeased as he put on a neutral facial expression.

"Do you think Taeyong hyung would let us keep the change?"

"Why don't you ask him? He's coming right now." Donghyuck answered, having noticed Taeyong walking towards them.

It was hard not to when he had a head of bright red hair.

"How did business go? Did you two do okay by yourselves? I'm sorry I had to leave." Taeyong had a ton of questions for them to answer once he was on the truck, constantly fixing their clothes or hair as they answered all his questions.

"Okay, to make up for today I'll take you two to a cafe soon. My treat." He announced, as though he didn't pay every time they met up, but Donghyuck wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

"Okay!"

The two boys didn't bother to tell him about Jaemin and Renjun's surprise visit, not wanting to freak him out.

But Donghyuck never forgot about the encounter, not even as he stared at the television screen worriedly.

___

Jeno was a light-weight in every sense of the word.

He really couldn't hold his alcohol.

So it was a wonder that he was on his third glass of wine and he hadn't passed out yet or anything.

Usually he wouldn't even drink, but tonight he felt like breaking the rules a little, especially since this was his only chance.

He was at a social gathering with other family members. There were all sorts of upper-class people around that his family had to talk to that eventually Jeno was left by himself.

He actually preferred it this way since he couldn't be bothered to interact past a hello, especially right now.

His head was pounding, a killer headache forming but that wasn't stopping him from grabbing his fourth glass.

What did stop him was a hand slapping his away and a glare from his younger cousin Daehwi before the boy dragged him off into a corner.

"What do you think your doing hyung?" He hissed quietly, sounding furious.

Usually Jeno would feel embarrassed of himself at this point, but instead all he had in him at the moment was a bitter scoff.

Daehwi's face was half fury, half concern and honestly... He didn't like it.

"Don't look at me like that Hwi. I'm perfectly fine. I'm even having a great time here!" Jeno threw his arms up, a smile spreading on his face.

Daehwi's face lost even more of it's fury. "We both know your not hyung. Don't try to lie to yourself, that's not healthy."

Jeno resisted the urge to scream because he knew it wasn't healthy, but what else could he do at this point? 

"You don't get it do you Daehwi? None of you guys get it at all..." He muttered, slumping against the wall in defeat.

"Oh hyungie." Daehwi's heart broke the further he looked at the elder, having to look away for a moment to compose himself.

"Come on, let's go to my room." He picked up the fallen boy, glancing around to see if anyone was paying attention.

Mostly everyone was distracted with their own conversations, but there was one man in particular that was staring at them.

Daehwi recognised his face from TV, but he couldn't quite remember his name for some reason. But he did know that the man was a famous actor that blew up overseas and was now returning to Korea.

He was sort of surprised that he would be at such a gathering honestly. Actors weren't really looked at nicely by their community.

Daehwi tried not to let his gaze bother him as he proceeded to drag his unwilling cousin out of the room.

He never noticed the other pair of eyes staring at them from across the room.

___

"Xuxi?" Renjun gently called out the name under the darkness of the room, gaining a groan in reply as the guard shifted from his position on the floor.

He only felt slightly bad that he had woken the elder up, because there was something bugging him.

"You have liked people before right? As in romantically." He asked, switching to Mandarin.

Yukhei's eyes opened, glancing over at him. "Yeah. Why are you asking?" 

"How did you know that you liked that someone?" 

Yukhei frowned, "Do you like someone Renjun? Is that why your asking this?"

Renjun didn't answer for a while, thinking over the answer in his head. 

"... Maybe. I don't know. Why do you think I'm asking you this then? Just give me an answer already!" He whined.

Yukhei chuckled lowly. "Well.... Wouldn't the answer be different for everyone? I don't know if my experience will apply to you Jun."

Renjun sighed. "I know, I just want something to compare to."

"It was his smile." Yukhei admitted slowly. "At first I just thought he was a nice person in general. Kind, sweet. Then I saw his smile. It was... beautiful. That's the only way I can explain it. There was just something about his smile that lit up his entire face and it warmed my heart. That was the moment I realized I liked him more than as a friend."

Renjun giggled. "Sounds romantic. I wonder who it is."

"As if I'll ever tell you."

"Aw but why? I'm your friend."

"Yeah, that's why I know you will tease me about it. Up until now you still bother me about my failed Valentine's Day surprise back in seventh grade."

"Oh yeah. I still wish I could have been there to see it in person."

"I'm happy that you were not. You were too busy with some kind of appointment or something."

Renjun's smile vanished at the moment, his eyes dimming as he remembered what the elder was referring to.

"Anyway, stop changing the topic Xuxi. I want to know if there's anyone you like currently." He asked, shifting onto his side so he could get a better look at his friend.

Yukhei stayed silent for a few seconds before sighing, "I can't hide it from you too much longer anyways, so yes. I do have someone I like."

Renjun couldn't say that he was surprised. "Tell me about him."

"He's... nice. Very soft-spoken. His voice sounds like honey. He has the prettiest eyes I've ever seen and and his smile, I already told you but his smile is so beautiful it's hard to believe." Yukhei gashed, sounding love-struck.

"The way you speak of him makes him sound nice. Introduce him to me sometime." 

"He'll be too scared of you. He gets nervous around the royals. It's so cute."

"Seems like you really like him huh?"

"Yeah, I do actually..." Yukhei muttered, trailing off.

In all the years Renjun has known Yukhei, he's always been the careless type, but he was especially careless with his heart. 

He didn't know how his friend could fall for people so easily, but while he would never dare judge him for it, he always worried about him getting his heart broken.

It happened far too much for Renjun not to be concerned for him, but Yukhei had grown from his experiences and he trusted that he knew how to handle himself in such matters.

"Enough about me. You said earlier that there was someone you liked, who is it?" Yukhei asked, changing the topic.

At that, Renjun wasn't sure how to question. How much of the truth should he give away?

"There's nothing I can do about it Xuxi. He already likes someone else." He admitted, getting as close to the truth as he dared.

"Really? That sucks. You shouldn't like someone like that, it's clearly meant for heartbreak."

Yeah, Renjun already knew that. That was why he tried so hard to just see him as a friend. Since he couldn't have him, he thought that it was better to at least get to know each other so that their lives wouldn't be miserable together.

Well safe to say, it backfired on him terribly.

Renjun never thought of himself as a greedy person. All his life he's had to give way to someone else, so this newfound greed was... scary to say the least.

He didn't know what to do.

This was the first time Renjun has ever felt so confused about what to do. 

It wasn't just as simple as confessing or not, because this concerned the entire royal family and if their relationship was ruined due to his feelings...

Renjun shut his eyes, unwilling to think about it.

More than anything else, this was about Jaemin's happiness. And his happiness wasn't him.

A part of him was sad, but he had always known that this would be the outcome.

Renjun was more than willing to accept it if Jaemin could be happy.

After all, he wasn't important.

Not back then, and certainly not now.

___

**[enter-talk]** Prince Jaemin and Renjun spotted on a date??

**[post response]  
[+1,467;-373]**

[.JPG]

[.JPG]

[.JPG]

Me and my friends were hanging around outside and she happened to spot two boys nearby that she thought looked like the princes.

I didn't believe her at first, but when we tried to go closer men suddenly stepped in front of us and got us to go another way.

We took these photos from a distance so it's quite blurry but you can still make out their faces.

I never thought that those two would get along but apparently they're close enough to go on a date.

[+1,047;-256] I never expected this. I thought with Lee Jeno in the way these two would never happen but it seems they're getting closer than expected. I wonder what's going to happen from now on  
ㅋㅋㅋ

[+895;-194] They seem cute together. Of course they should be happy together since they are going to get married. I do feel sorry for Lee Jeno, but he should move on.

[+740;-138] Lee Jeno is too good for Na Jaemin either ways so he will find someone way better and be happier! 

[+578;-49] No my otp ;-;

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are picking up after this so expect a wild ride XD


	7. VII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! I was planning on publishing this chapter sooner but I was unsatisfied with it so I did some changes. This is an intense chapter so be prepared.

Whenever Jaemin was frustrated, there was only one person that he would go to at such times.

One person that wouldn't hold back and give it to him straight.

"You need to give her a chance." Jaerin spoke, leaning her head against her palm on the armrest of the chair.

Jaemin craned his head up from the bed to look at her. "What do you mean by that?"

"You've only talked to Heejin three times so far and barely said more than fifteen words each time. She's already been here for a week and you aren't warming up to her in the slightest. Even if you don't like where this is going, she doesn't deserve this kind of behaviour from you. I've spoke to her myself and she's a nice girl. You need to give her a chance." 

Jaemin frowned, having to admit that his sister was right. He just didn't know how to talk to Heejin.

Everytime she would smile at him he would freeze up uncomfortably before making up an excuse to run. 

"I know she's nice, it's just... It's hard having her around. I don't want her around, I want-" Jaemin cut himself off before he could say the name.

And to think he had been doing so well not thinking of him.

"Jaemin..." The concern in his sister's voice sickened him to hear, even though he knew it came from a good place.

All this while Jaemin had been doing his best to be strong, silently enduring every hurdle thrown his way with as much grace as he could give, but he was in a pressure-cooker environment where even the slightest slip could mean having his well controlled facade crack.

Honestly he didn't know what was better. Whether to let it go and scream and scream and scream or to hold it in and continue to crack until he eventually shatters into a thousand little pieces.

Both options didn't really sound all that appealing to him.

There was a sight before she spoke, "Let's just stop talking about it okay Rin? I'm too tired." He complained, shutting his eyes.

"Okay then. Let's talk about something else... Like eomma's birthday."

 _Eomma?_ "Her birthday? Is it coming that quickly?" Jaemin asked, opening his eyes as he frowned.

"Yah, I've been sending you messages in our chat about it for the past few days! It's in a week! Do you even have a present prepared?" Jaerin exclaimed.

Jaemin gulped, feeling guilty. He had been so caught up in his own stuff that he completely forgot about it. 

Their mother's birthday was one of the only time they got to spend with her seeing as she lived outside of the Palace with her own family.

Speaking of that, "What's Jisung getting her? He knows her taste better than we do." Jaemin asked.

His sister shrugged in response. "He won't tell me. Says it's a secret, but he's probably getting her some perfume like last year. You know he's not very creative with gifts." 

True.

"How has Jisung been? He's in his second year of high school if I remember correctly..." He muttered.

The two of them never really got to spend a lot of time with their younger brother, but fortunately that didn't seem to hinder their relationship too badly. 

Jaemin still remember the first time he laid eyes on Jisung, who had been just a small five year old at the time.

Their mother had nudged him forward encouragingly, and slowly the shy boy had introduced himself.

It had been an odd experience for the seven year old him. Not only was he being introduced to a woman that was supposedly his mother, now he had apparently gained a little brother as well.

Even now as he thought about his mother it still felt a little strange.

"If your so curious why don't you spend more time with them? I don't know why you always skip out on visiting them if your so curious."

Jaemin chose to keep his mouth shut, because he knew his answer would only sadden his twin.

Ever since meeting his mother, he had come to realise one thing.

He didn't belong anywhere. Not with his father, and certainly not with his mother.

His mother had her own perfect family all figured out. A nice, loving husband and a nice, handsome son.

Whenever he was with them he couldn't help but feel like he was... intruding somehow.

So he couldn't understand how his sister was able to go back and visit them so often. He couldn't understand how she didn't feel the same loneliness he did in their presence.

Jaemin sighed, "I'll figure it out. Besides, I'm not even able to go to the party."

Jaerin looked confused, a sure sign that she had forgotten.

"Prince Ten is arriving in Korea that day. I'll have to entertain him, so I doubt I can go." 

He liked the Thai prince well enough, but he had a fiery personality and couldn't take no for an answer, which would inevitably lead to a headache for Jaemin.

"Oh yeah, Prince Ten..." Jaerin muttered, face twisting into an unhappy expression.

Jaemin knew exactly what she was thinking about. "I'll be the one to deal with him. You don't even have to talk to him if you don't want to."

Jaerin scoffed at that. "You know mother and father won't allow me to ignore him. I'm the reason why they even invited him here."

It hung heavy over their heads, casting a dark shadow over his sister's face.

Even when things were tough, Jaerin always did her best to stay happy. Not just for her own sake, but for his as well.

Seeing her look so serious made his heart ache.

If there was one thing he never wanted to happen in this world, it would be for his sister to be unhappy.

There were so many things Jaemin wanted to say in that moment, but they all refused to come out.

"Don't look at me like that." Jaerin spoke quietly. "You look so worried."

Jaemin frowned. "How can I not be worried though?"

She huffed a sigh. "You worry too much about others Min. Sometimes you have to worry about yourself first."

Jaemin knew she was right. But sometimes it was easier to worry about someone else then have to face his own issues. It made things... bearable. 

"Why are you even saying this?" He muttered unhappily.

"Do you really have to ask?" Jaerin retorted, a sharpness to her voice that wasn't usually there.

"You haven't been sleeping well or eating well. Anybody would be worried looking at you Min."

"That's because I've been busy." He retorted weakly.

The unhappy look on his sister's face only deepened. "Father should know better, especially after what happened not to overwork you."

 _"Jaerin."_ There was a clear warning in his voice as Jaemin realised they were venturing into dangerous topics.

"What?" She snapped, "Am I saying anything wrong? We all know what happened. I don't want the same thing that happened to oppa to happen-"

Jaerin cut herself off adruptly, tears filling her eyes as her lips quivered.

"I hate this family. I hate the throne. I hate the Palace. I hate everything about this life.!"

Jaemin could only stare at her, a little in shock with everything she was saying.

"I don't want this life to take you, but is there anything I can do about it?"

Jaemin doesn't remember the last time he ever saw his sister cry. Doesn't remember the last time her voice wavered as much as it did now.

Even at Jaeho's funeral, there had been no tears from either of them before and after the funeral.

Jaemin could feel the headache building in the back of his head as he tried to process her words. 

"You can't feel this way."

His words came out wrong by the way Jaerin flinched, but he didn't know any other way to put it.

She couldn't feel this way.

This was their family's legacy. Generations upon generations of kings that built the nation.

The throne was something to be _proud of._

She couldn't feel this way. He couldn't feel this way. They both _couldn't_ feel this way.

"How can you say that? We should be proud. This is our family's legacy. We should continue to uphold it. You can't just say that your tired- what about _me?"_

__

__

What about him?

What about Na Jaemin that was forced into a role he wasn't meant to take? 

What about him that was told over and _over again and again_ that he should bear it all and be happy to do it because it was for the nation and for his family?

Jaemin just wanted to do the right thing for everyone even if it wasn't for himself. So why was it so difficult?

_"Jaemin!"_

The last thing he felt were the tears streaming down his face before he crumpled to the ground.

___

Donghyuck could only sigh, turning his eyes away from the glare Taeyong was sending him.

"Don't look at me like that." He muttered unhappily, taking a bite of his cake.

"I can't believe you Lee Donghyuck. Why didn't you tell me about the prince showing up at the food truck?!" Taeyong exclaimed.

"Is it really that serious?"

"If I remember correctly, you also never said anything about going for the consort selection. I had to find out from Doyoung!"

At that Donghyuck winched, because he was actually in the wrong. When he had agreed to it, he hadn't actually thought that he would have to go, and thinking while half-asleep never turned out well.

But he couldn't back out of it when Yena fell ill and begged him to go for her. Even when he had told her that they could get into a lot of trouble with their family for it.

Their family weren't really the biggest fans of the monarchy and if they found out, they could get into a lot of trouble. Of course Yena didn't care about that since everybody knew about her obsession with the royal family and knew that they couldn't stop her anyways, but Donghyuck was different.

But he made a promise, and so he went, forgetting that Taeyong's boyfriend Doyoung would also be there seeing as he worked for the palace.

"I apologised for that already..." He muttered unhappily

"Your lucky that Doyoung managed to get you out of there. The palace really isn't the place for someone like you Hyuck. Trust me on this."

He knew that the elder only meant well with his words, but it still made Donghyuck stiffen. "And what do you mean by that? Are you saying I wouldn't be able to handle it?"

The expression on Taeyong's face gave his thoughts away immediately, and Donghyuck felt somewhat hurt that his cousin thought so little of him.

Suddenly the tense moment was abruptly ended by the sound of Mark choking on the cake that he had been quietly eating the entire while.

"Really Mark?" He questioned, wondering how his cousin could never fail to interrupt serious moments.

"Sorry, must have eaten too quickly." Mark apologised, red in the face as he reached for his drink, taking a big gulp.

"Be more careful." Taeyong muttered worriedly, distracted from his former conversation.

Donghyuck wasn't unfortunately, but the mood was already ruined to talk about it and he didn't feel like bringing it up again.

It was hard enough just getting to meet up with Taeyong, him being mysteriously occupied for the past week for god knows what.

He took a sip of his coffee, taking the chance to look outside the window at the people and cars rushing past.

The world was always moving so fast that Donghyuck wished that it would slow down, even just for a moment so that he could breath properly.

A blur of moving shapes, forever in motion and never stopping. 

"Hyuck!"

The boy turned back towards his cousins, setting a smile upon his face as he let himself be drawn into the conversation they were having.

Things went much easier now that they weren't talking about serious matters and Donghyuck found himself relaxing after a while.

Taeyong was evidently trying to keep the conversation light, not wanting a repeat of earlier and Donghyuck felt the same way.

It wasn't until Mark took a bathroom break that things became tense again.

Taeyong sighed, setting his drink again. "Look, I'm sorry for what I said earlier. I didn't mean to offend you. I just... The palace isn't the place for just anyone. It's a cold, _cold_ place and I wouldn't want that kind of life for anybody, especially you."

The way his cousin spoke made the palace sound like the place where happiness goes to die, but Donghyuck considered his words, because he did work at the palace once as a low-ranking bodyguard.

He had quit only a year ago and then began running the food truck. Taeyong's never mentioned the reason why he left, but Donghyuck has never been curious.

But with the way he acted, there seemed to be more to the story than he was telling.

Donghyuck opened his mouth, a question on the tip of his tongue before he held himself back. There was no way Taeyong would be willing to answer.

"Okay."

Taeyong visibly relaxed. "Good. Like what halmeoni says, it's best to stay away from the royal family." 

Maybe Donghyuck doesn't actually want to know. Not when there was such a look of pain on Taeyong's face.

The expression lingered long in his mind afterwards, even as they parted to go back home, him and Mark heading one direction while Taeyong went another.

Their family was relatively close-knit, so they all lived near each other. Taeyong was the only one who broke from the tradition when he got his own apartment, but he had never been one to care about those things.

"Hey Hyuck," There was a weird tone in Mark's voice that made him sound nervous. "How long more until we get home?"

Donghyuck frowned in confusion, "We've gone this way for years, you should know we're only five minutes away. Are you suddenly suffering from memory loss?" He questioned.

Mark adruptly grabbed his hand, pulling him down a random street.

"What are you doing? This isn't the way home!"

"Haven't you noticed? We're being _followed."_ Mark hissed back, voice completely serious.

Donghyuck paled, but kept himself calm.

Thinking about it, he had noticed the strange male that had gotten on the bus with them and even gotten off at the same stop, but he had brushed it off as a coincidence.

"What are we going to do?" He asked, trying his hardest not to look back. They couldn't let the stalker know that they knew that they were there.

"Let's try to lose him. I'm sure we know these streets better than he does." Mark answered.

Donghyuck found himself appreciating the confidence in his cousin's voice. "Okay."

His heart beat relentless in his ears as he tried to keep his nerves at bay.

___

Jeno's head pounded badly.

God why had he done that to himself? He was a idiot sometimes.

Wait- No, he was a idiot _all_ the time.

It was the only thing that could explain his current actions.

After the party last week and the hungover afterwards, Taeil had banned him from all alcohol, which he was actually fine with.

But then the package arrived, and he was forced to send himself into a self-imposed isolation.

It was pure luck that Jeno was the one who got the package first instead of Taeil who usually opened them for him.

The photos weren't damning by any matters, but it still sent a chill up his spine to see such close-up shots of him being helped by Daehwi at the party.

He knew it was all because of the camera that whoever it was managed to get such clear shots, but it had done it's damage, sufficiently making him paranoid.

The following message written in what looked like red blood made it clear that he was right. 

_We're watching you._

As a public figure, Jeno had gotten his fair share of threatening messages, but this was the furthest it had ever gone and he didn't have any desire to see much how further it could go.

In the end, he decided it was better to just tell someone rather than to hide it and discover the consequences.

Taeil's panicked reaction was expected, including the increased security around him. After school he had to go straight back home, which was a bit odd for him admittedly, but he could deal with it.

Unfortunately, having to be paranoid for his own safety was taking much more of a toll than expected, even starting to make him sleepless.

It all stupidly ended with him deciding that getting drunk was the only opinion he had.

Taeil didn't know this, but Jeno knew exactly where he had hidden the alcohol, so in the middle of the night, that was exactly what he did. Broke out the alcohol and proceeded to get himself drunk.

It was a pretty good feeling Jeno would admit, but now all that was left was a bad hangover and regret.

At least Taeil wasn't here to see this since he had the day off, though he had still left some medicine for him to take on his bedside counter along with a stern letter that he barely scanned over, the words swimming in front of him.

Jeno dragged himself to his bathroom to try to wash up, grimacing at his reflection in the mirror.

Since he was feeling a little hungry, his next move was to go to the kitchen to get some food.

Usually he would be calling out to his maids at this point, but his head hurt too much for him to be yelling, so he decided to just to do it by himself.

As he was going down the stairs, an eerie feeling entered his body that caused him to hesitate.

Jeno knew how quiet the house could be at times since his parents usually weren't home and when he was the only one left, but at this hour the servants would be running around the place.

Actually, they should have woken him up since he wasn't supposed to sleep past noon.

Something about this whole thing felt... off. 

Jeno stood at the bottom of the stairs, heart pounding in his chest as he tried to come up with what to do next when he heard it.

A bang coming from the kitchen along with a muffled scream.

He didn't need to hear anymore before quietly heading back up the stairs.

All Jeno could hear was the sound of his heart beating loudly in his ears, and all he understood was that he needed to get help.

_Phone._

A-a phone. He needed a phone. Where the heck was a phone?!

Jeno locked his room door behind him before hunting for the device, hoping that it was somewhere there.

He couldn't remember where he had last placed it and that was turning out to be a big problem.

Jeno's biggest fear was that he had left it outside without realising and that he would be stuck here without any help.

Fortunately his fear was unfound as he discovered the phone hidden under a mess of blankets, hands shaking as he dials a number.

"Hyung." He should be calling the police, but instead he went straight to Taeil, too out of his mind with fear to think properly. 

"Jeno?" The voice on the other end wasn't Taeil, and for a second he doesn't recognise it until he remembered that the elder had said he was going on a date with his boyfriend.

"Johnny hyung?"

"Yeah, Taeil is in the bathroom so I picked up for him. What's wrong? You sound scared."

"Hyung I don't know what to do. I-I don't know. There's someone in the house a-and, I need help hyung. I need help." Jeno began to panic.

"Calm down. Where are you?" Johnny asked calmly.

"In my room. I think they're still downstairs."

"Okay, find a safe place to hide in your room. I'm on my way there, don't hang up."

Jeno followed his instructions, going straight to the closet and hiding himself in the back.

It's dark, it's cramped, and he can barely breath, but he feels safer here than anywhere else.

"Just wait for me Jeno. I'm heading there as fast as I can." Johnny reassured.

He nods, despite knowing that the elder can't see it, trying to stop his shaking as he waits.

The next thing he heard is the rattle of the bedroom door as if it's being forced open, and he has to bit his tongue to stop himself from crying out loud.

_Everything's fine. Everything's fine._

___

"Jaemin's fine. He's fine. Jun he's _fine."_ Yukhei has his face trapped between his hands as he repeated his words.

Renjun can't quite believe it, especially as he had the memory of Jaemin laying on the floor, pale and passed out.

It reminded him too much of a memory he wanted to forget.

His own mother laying on the floor and so, _so cold._

Renjun wasn't sure how he would have made it through without some sort of breakdown if it weren't for Yukhei being there, reminding him that things were going to be fine.

But even now, he couldn't help but feel nervous as he stared at Jaemin laying motionless on the bed.

He was already in the hospital for a day, but yet he hasn't woken up yet.

No concerns had been raised so far, but if Jaemin didn't wake up soon, something could be seriously wrong with him.

And that wasn't something Renjun liked thinking about.

He sighed, getting up from the chair. His limbs ached from not moving and he needed some sort of break before he started to lose it.

"I think I'm going to take a break." He announced, stretching out his limbs.

Renjun glanced over at Jaerin who sat on the other side of the bed, wondering if he should ask her to join.

In the end he felt too awkward to ask. He didn't really know Jaemin's sister that well, plus she would probably just ignore him like she has everybody else.

Renjun couldn't blame her for it when it was clear she was feeling guilt for what happened to Jaemin, even if it was misplaced.

"Do you want me to go with you?" Yukhei asked, getting up from the couch.

He shook his head, glancing over at the girl. Luckily Yukhei got his message, nodding his head slightly in indication that he understood.

Renjun located the vending machine on his own after an embarrassingly long amount of time due to not actually knowing his way around, being so distracted by his glee that he nearby didn't notice the two men sitting on plastic chairs nearby.

"Oh." The sound of surprised slipped out of his mouth without thinking, causing Jeno's head to snap towards him.

They stared at each other in silence for a few moments before Renjun took a quick glance at the male sitting next to Jeno, causing the man to get up and bow towards him. "Your Highness." He greeted politely.

He nodded his head, letting the man get up. 

Renjun saw the way his eyes shifted to Jeno quickly before he was saying, "I'll leave you two alone to chat then."

Jeno immediately started to panic, grabbing the man's arm. "Taeil hyung!" His hold was shaken off as Taeil left.

Suddenly it was just the two of them, so Renjun turned towards the vending machine for a distraction.

"So," He scanned over the options, "I suppose your here to visit Jaemin?"

That wasn't even a proper question when they both knew the answer, but he felt they needed something to break the ice.

"Yeah... How is he?" Jeno asked hesitantly.

"He's... okay. I suppose." Renjun answered vaguely, pressing the button for a green tea.

Jeno frowned. "What do you mean by that?" 

Renjun didn't want to give away too much. He wasn't supposed to reveal information to members of the public, but Jeno wasn't just a citizen, he was also... He was also the person Jaemin loved.

"Jaemin hasn't... well he hasn't woken up yet." He admitted, trying to keep his voice steady. 

He took a small glance at Jeno, seeing the frown that took hold of his face. "Is he going to be okay?"

Renjun couldn't look at him longer. "I think so. But if your so curious, you should find out for yourself." It was said casually, but he could almost sense Jeno's flinch.

It wasn't everyday that he would get called out for his behaviour after all. Renjun took his drink from the machine, giving the younger some time to think as he opened the can.

"I can't..." Was Jeno's final answer.

"Why?" He asked simply.

"You won't understand."

Renjun sighed. "Are you saying that because I won't understand, or you _think_ I won't understand. There's a difference you know."

Jeno looked shocked at his outburst, and frankly he was as well because he never expected that the thoughts he had kept so carefully locked up in his head would come spilling out like this, but honestly... he felt relieved.

Renjun didn't know much longer he could have gone on without asking the other all of his questions because he wanted to understand him.

He wanted to know everything about him actually.

He had long been curious about Jeno from the first moment he was told about him being Jaemin's fiance, back before things had changed.

He wanted to know what it was about him that made the prince so in love with him, because such a fond expression could never be faked.

Renjun wanted to know him so _badly_ and yet... yet... Jeno didn't feel the same way.

He closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath as he tried to calm down his mess of emotions.

"I'm sorry."

He opened his eyes, looking at Jeno with such clear shock that the younger looked away out of embarrassment.

"I know that I've assumed things about you when I shouldn't have. I mean, I don't know you at all. So... All I can do now is apologise to you. I'm sorry."

There was an awkward silence right away, and most people don't know this about him, but Renjun is soft, and the deep red blush crawling up Jeno's neck is enough for him to walk over, sitting next to him before he shoved his phone in the boy's face.

Jeno only stared at him in confusion for a moment before hesitantly taking the device from him.

"Put your number in. We can message each other sometime. If you want to of course." His words don't come out smooth at all, and Renjun can feel himself start to blush out of embarrassment.

Jeno smiles widely, eyes crinkling at the corners. Renjun's seen that smile plenty of times on a computer screen, but up close in real life it's even more potent than expected.

_No wonder everybody loves him._

"Here." The device was handed back to him as Renjun did the same to Jeno's phone.

"So... It's really okay if I message you out of the blue?" The younger asked, still sounding a little hesitant.

Renjun laughed. "If I'm not busy in that moment then of course. I want to... you know... become friends with you." 

The look on Jeno's face was unreadable for a moment before the boy was looking away from him. 

And that was when Johnny and Taeil reappeared from around the corner.

"Your Highness." Johnny greeted politely, the lines of his body stiff and tense. Usually he was a lot more easy-going.

Jeno got up, silently switching places with Johnny who went over to stand by him.

"I'll take Jeno home now. It's getting late." Taeil explained.

Renjun nodded. "But... your not going to see Jaemin?" He asked.

Jeno ducked his head. "Maybe next time. But if it's possible, keep me updated. Please."

Renjun wanted to protest, but quickly realised that it wouldn't change a thing.

In the end, Jeno was the one who should decide for himself. This wasn't something he could interfere in.

"Your Highness, we should go back to the hospital room." Johnny suggested after Jeno left with Taeil.

"Okay." He muttered quietly, turning to head back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told you this would be intense. I feel sorta bad for everything I'm putting them through especially Jaemin but this was honestly the only way I could see him admitting that he has a problem. Don't worry they're all fine and everything will get explained.
> 
> I'll be updating as frequently as I can from now on as well as publishing some other stuff I've been working on so please anticipate!


	8. VIII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't updated this story in a while when I should have so I apologise! I think I have the final story all worked out so it should be a smooth ride from here. I'm wondering whether to add to the tags bc there are parts of the story that are quite dark, I'll think about it I guess.

Jaemin had to admit that his hospital stay wasn't as bad as he thought it would be.

For once he could rest and not worry about anything, and it was the most relaxed he had ever felt in a long while.

Nothing was mentioned of the outside world, and Jaemin felt somewhat like.... a normal boy.

What a way to lie to himself, but it still made him feel better nonetheless.

At least it did until real life intruded.

Jaemin looked up from his puzzle at the sound of the door opening, about to greet the nurse when he saw that it wasn't her at all.

"Eomma..."

His mother smiled calmly at him, and that was when he noticed that Jisung was with her as well.

When Jaemin glanced over to his sister, Jaerin looked just as confused as he was, meaning that whatever this was, she wasn't in on it.

"What are you doing here?" He asked as soon as they were seated on chairs by his bed.

"We're here to visit you. The Palace informed us of your condition and allowed the two of us to visit you if we wanted." Their mother replied.

 _That's strange._ Jaemin thought to himself before trying to shake his doubts off. There was no point in overthinking this simple visit.

"Well it's nice to see you. I haven't had the chance to visit you in a while." He said.

Suddenly his mother reached over, grabbing his hands in hers as she looked worriedly at him. "Jaemin-ah, have they been working you too hard? I've seen your appearances on TV and you haven't been looking so good for a while. Do you need a break?"

He opened and closed his mouth, unsure of how to answer. Would it be okay to admit the truth?

"Jaemin, I... I have actually spoken with your father." His mother admitted slowly, and his eyes widened.

"Eomma-"

"Just listen to me first." She cut him off. "After some discussion with your father, he agreed to give you a break. Of course you still have schedules that you have to be there for, but he said he will lessen your load in the meantime so you can recover properly."

A part of Jaemin wanted to object, but he continued to listen. Because honestly, he had to admit that he wasn't in the right mindset nor health to handle everything.

"We also agreed that during your recovery, you would move out of the palace temporarily and into a place with me and Jisung."

Jaemin struggled to process her words for a moment, probably looking like some kind of idiot before his brain kicked into action.

"So we'll be living together? Temporarily?" He repeated, wanting to make sure he was hearing correctly.

The nod he got from his mother only served to confuse him further.

"But then what about uncle?"

"He's agreed to all of this. He wants just as much as I do for you to get better quickly."

Jaemin still struggled with it, glancing between Jisung and their mother in shock for a few more seconds.

"Can I... Can I get some time to think about it." He asked, looking away from her.

Slowly his mother let go of his hand. "Okay, we'll leave you alone for a bit to think."

The three of them stood up to leave before Jaemin suddenly called out, "Jaerin, can you stay?"

His sister looked back at him, a little confused as she nodded, sitting back down.

Jaerin waited until their mother and brother left the room before speaking, "You should do it. Taking a break will be good for you."

Good for him, yes, but that wasn't what he needed.

Heck, right now Jaemin needed to be strong, he couldn't show weakness. He was now the Crown Prince, he can't be weak. He _can't._

And yet... He sighed, closing his eyes as he felt a headache build up in the back of his head.

There was still so much he needed to learn before he was crowned, so much he needed to do. Jaemin didn't have time to take a break.

There was a long drawn-out sigh, one that he would have thought came from himself instead of his sister.

"Do you remember, what oppa once said to you?" Jaerin asked.

Jaeho. The thought of their older brother made his heart ache, so Jaemin did his best not to think about him often.

"He said a lot of stuff." He replied quietly.

"Back when we were twelve."

Well, that made things a lot clearer. 

That was the one event from his childhood that Jaemin didn't think he could ever forget. Not when it shattered every perception he had of his brother.

Up until that point in his life, he had only ever seen Jaeho as the perfect child. He knew exactly what to say, how to act, he just seemed so perfect that Jaemin was honestly intimidated by him.

And then one late night, he and Jaerin had snuck out of their bedrooms for something that he couldn't even remember, and they chanced upon a scene that they could never have imagined before.

There were empty beer bottles scattered throughout the formal living room, one that they had never used, and Jaeho was standing right in the center of it all, laughing like a mad man.

He sounded and acted like he was losing his marbles, and it was _frightening._

Doyoung had been there as well, the young sixteen year old trying his best to coax Jaeho to stop drinking.

He didn't look scared or anything, like he was used to this display of madness somehow.

On the other hand, the two of them had been left frozen by the scene, staring dumbly as their brother seemingly went crazy, flinging everything he could get his hands on suddenly.

Jaerin had screamed when a glass bottle landed near her, and Jaeho turned his attention to them.

His eyes pierced through Jaemin with a clarity he hadn't expected seeing how drunk he was, and least of all he didn't expect the tears that flooded his brother's eyes almost immediately.

"What have I done? I-I-I don't know... I don't know." Jaeho muttered, dropping his face into his hands in shame.

Jaemin hadn't known what to do at that point with his brother crying and his sister hiding behind him. Doyoung stepped in, quickly trying to usher them away.

"Wait."

They all paused without meaning to, waiting for Jaeho to speak.

"Jaemin," At the sound of his name, he had turned his head, glancing up nervously at his brother. His eyes had darkened inexplicably, a jet black that held him in place as he waited to hear what he had to say.

"Don't... Don't become like me. _Ever._ Do you understand?"

Desperate to get out of that situation, he had nodded his head without really thinking about it.

Jaemin supposed that he thought too lightly of his brother's warning. Maybe that was how he ended up here.

Maybe he was meant to become like his brother.

"Your different from him." Jaerin uttered, snapping him out of his thoughts. "So don't make his mistakes. _Please."_

"You really shouldn't do this." He finally said after a long pause. "Your guiltying me in taking a break."

"I know. And I'll continue to do it if I have to." She admitted.

Jaemin couldn't help but crack a small smile at that.

_Don't become like me._

"Fine. I'll take a break."

He couldn't forget the look in those dark eyes.

___

Donghyuck couldn't stop himself from glancing over at the TV screen.

He was supposed to be doing his homework in the dining room but the giant photo of prince Jaemin grabbed his attention too much, along with the headlines.

"Noona, can't you turn the TV off? I'm trying to study here!" He finally burst out, unable to concentrate.

Yena turned around, scowling. "How is my fault! Isn't it your problem that you keep looking at the screen? Besides, I thought you weren't interested in the Royal Family? Stop studying in the dining room if it bothers you so much!"

Donghyuck knew he couldn't say anything, because she was right. Why was he even paying attention?

In the past he wouldn't even blink at seeing news from the Palace before changing the channel.

It was strange, he was acting strange.

"Do whatever you want. I'm gonna go use the bathroom." Yena got up from the couch, leaving Donghyuck alone with the news playing in the background.

_"The news that Crown Prince Jaemin has been hospitalised came out early this morning in a report from the Palace._

_The report didn't state much about how he ended up in hospital, but that he was recovering well and would be cutting back on his activities for the meantime until he recovers._

_The Palace has apologised for worrying the public. We wish all the best for the prince's full recovery."_

Donghyuck would have thought the news would have taken longer, but in actuality it only took about thirty seconds for the segment to be over.

He didn't really know why he was feeling so worried for. He didn't know the prince all that much, having only spoken to him twice before for short lengths of time so why was he worried for?

But it wasn't that strange on the other hand. It was perfectly normal to feel some concern for strangers, especially if they happened to be the prince of your country.

Right. Donghyuck wasn't being strange at all.

Lost in his thoughts, the boy startled when a bag was placed in front of him, smelling of food.

"Take this to your cousin." His mother said, making him glare at her.

"Eomma!" Donghyuck whined.

"So your not willing to do it?" She asked, folding her arms and giving him a steely look.

Donghyuck knew he couldn't win so he gave in, grabbing the container. "Fine, I'll do it." He grumbled.

"Good. Don't take too long, it's getting late."

Donghyuck nodded, getting off his chair as he went to grab a hoodie since it was chilly outside.

It turned out to be a good decision as he was hit by a cold breeze as soon as he stepped outside of the gate.

It wasn't just the cold that had him on edge though, because his mind couldn't help but go back to that day as he glanced around warily.

When they had finally cornered their stalker after leading them through a mess of streets, he hadn't expected what he saw.

The man was a reporter, something Donghyuck deduced easily from the camera around his neck and his long brown trench coat that made him look like he came out from a drama.

Mark barely got to question the man before he elbowed the boy and proceeded to make a quick dash from the scene.

Apparently his elbow was very pointy, something that Donghyuck scoffed at.

Anyway, it had a few days since that less than pleasant experience and he hadn't noticed anything out of the ordinary.

If he was still being stalked, the reporter was doing a good job of hiding. Which brought up the question of _why._

Why did he and Mark get stalked on their way back home?

They were normal citizens, and they hadn't done anything that would get them noticed by the media as far as he knew.

Everything about this screamed _strange,_ so Donghyuck quickly made his way over to Taeyong's house so he could get his task over with as soon as possible.

His apartment was only fifteen minutes away by bus which made things less nerve-wrecking on him.

God, Donghyuck felt so needlessly paranoid.

It was with relief that he pressed Taeyong's doorbell, wanting to get inside.

Donghyuck waited, and waited, and yet there was no reply.

After a few more tries he came to the conclusion that his cousin probably wasn't home. No big deal, he knew where the spare key was and Taeyong wouldn't get angry with him for entering.

Once he retrieved the key from it's spot under the carpet, he opened the door.

As expected, everything was dark. Taeyong wasn't home. Kind of strange actually because he was always home around this time.

Donghyuck shrugged it off, padding over to the kitchen to put away the food.

For someone who run a food truck for a living, Taeyong's fridge was very empty, making the boy shake his head in dismay.

As he was busying himself with putting the food away, the hairs on the back of his neck started to stand up and he felt the sensation of being watched pass over him.

No, no, no. He was just being paranoid. There was no way there was someone in the house.

Donghyuck tried to shake it off, organising the food in an attempt to calm himself down.

_"Who are you?"_

His hands froze in mid-air as his body started shaking out of fear.

"I asked, who are you?"

Donghyuck calmed down a little once he heard the fear lanced within the voice.

If he was going down, he was going down a badass.

"Well then who are you? This is my cousin's house!" He shot back, his voice surprisingly stable.

As he turned around, he quickly reached into his pocket for his penknife, holding it in front of him warningly.

He usually didn't have it on him since they weren't allowed to have weapons on them at school, but ever since what happened, he made sure he had it on him to be safe.

"AHHH!" The stranger yapped in fear, stumbling away from him and onto his hands and knees.

There was a loud thump as wherever weapon he had landed far away.

Donghyuck narrowed his eyes, trying to make out the person. Ugh, why hadn't he turned on the lights when he entered?

"Why did you break in my cousin's house? Taeyong hyung doesn't allow strangers inside!" He shouted, trying not to seem scared.

"I-I'm not a stranger! Taeyong hyung knows me!" The stranger, now clear to him as a boy, yelled back.

Donghyuck hesitantly moved forward, keeping an eye on the boy as he reached over for the light switch.

The room flooded with light, nearly blinding him for a moment before his vision cleared and he could suddenly make out who the boy was.

Safe to say, it was... _unexpected._

"L-LEE JENO?!"

___

Jeno couldn't help but be scared.

It was happening all over again.

It felt like he was back in that closet, waiting as the intruder bashed the door in.

His hands trembled as he held on the phone, Johnny's voice still talking over the line.

"B-Be q-q-quiet." Jeno forced out, and Johnny went silent, the only sound heard being his own heavy breathing and the sound of the intruder going through his stuff.

If he had been more calm at the time, he would have wondered why the person was bothering to look through his room.

It wasn't like Jeno kept anything interesting in there. There was only unfinished homework on his desk.

But instead all he could do was try to convince himself that everything was going to be okay. He wasn't going to be found. He was safe in the closet. He was going to be oka-

And the closet door banged open and his heart started to race.

Jeno tried to move backwards as hands started moving through the layers of clothing, but there was nowhere he could go. He was trapped.

When light finally burst through, filtering in around the intruder's face, Jeno had to close his eyes, unwilling to take a look at the person.

He flinched as his phone was grabbed from him and thrown across the room, landing with a harsh thump on the carpet.

Jeno prayed that that would be the last of the intimidation, but he could still feel the person's presence right in front of him.

When it became clear that he wasn't going to move without Jeno doing _something,_ the boy slowly opened his eyes.

He didn't see a face at all.

All he saw was a mask. A clown mask in fact, making him cower even more.

Jeno has never liked clowns and this was only going to traumatise him more.

His eyes were squeezed shut again as he tried to prepare himself for what was going to happen next except- nothing.

Nothing happened as all he heard was the closet door closing again.

Jeno could barely believe it, not making a single move long after he opened his eyes.

It was only after Johnny rushed in with Taeil close behind that he finally could move.

So to Jeno's terrified mind, it wasn't much of a stretch that this was happening again.

This place was supposed to be _safe._ They had promised him that it would be. Taeyong himself had promised him that it would be fine.

And yet as soon as the elder had stepped outside, there was a frantic ringing of the doorbell.

Jeno had ignored it at first, but when he heard the door opening, he froze.

What was he supposed to do? This wasn't supposed to happen again- They told him it wouldn't. They made him believe it!

Jeno tried to hold back his tears, steeling himself for what he had to do.

This time he wasn't going to be a coward.

He still screamed when the knife was thrown out, landing on his hands and knees as the pan he had picked up from the counter flew away.

"Why did you break in my cousin's house? Taeyong hyung doesn't allow strangers inside!" The boy, Taeyong's cousin apparently, shouted.

"I-I'm not a stranger! Taeyong hyung knows me!" Barely, but Jeno didn't think the boy needed to know that.

He moved away as the boy moved towards the light switch, keeping an eye out for any sudden movements.

Jeno still wasn't sure whether he was being lied to or not.

The lights turned on and as soon as his name left the other's mouth, Jeno run for him, pulling the penknife out of his hand and throwing it away before the boy could even register it.

"Wait!-"

With all the strength he could muster, he threw himself on top of the boy, pining him against the floor.

"I can't breath!" The boy choked out, hitting Jeno's arm to try to get him to let go.

He took a good look at the boy's face, somehow finding him vaguely familiar.

"Lee D-Donghyuck! I'm Lee Donghyuck!"

Jeno's eyes widened and immediately he scrambled away, letting Donghyuck fall to the floor as he gasped heavily..

"Oh my god, I am so sorry! I-I didn't mean to hurt you! Well, actually I did- but that was only because I thought you were an intruder and-I'm so sorry are you okay?" Jeno blurted out hurriedly, feeling so guilty he didn't know how to handle himself.

What the heck was going on? Lee Donghyuck was Taeyong's cousin? And Taeyong was dating Doyoung? And Doyoung was Jaemin's advisor?!

Everything was somehow inter-connected and it was making Jeno's head spin a little.

Donghyuck coughed, shaking his head. "Don't worry, I-I'm fine."

That didn't make him feel much better as he ushered the boy to sit on the couch.

Donghyuck was looking at him weirdly, which Jeno couldn't blame him for because he did almost strangle him to unconsciousness.

"Did you just come back from school?"

Wait- what?

Jeno startled slightly, glancing down at his uniform self-consciously.

"Yeah, I had some stuff I had to do." He muttered, not sure where this was going.

"Have you eaten?"

This conversation was only getting stranger, especially when he nodded his head and Donghyuck got up.

"What are you doing?" He asked, watching as the boy walked over to the fridge.

"You have to eat, and honestly I'm hungry after what happened." Donghyuck admitted.

And then somehow the two of them ended up sitting next to each other as they ate in silence.

Jeno couldn't help but think just how strange this was turning out and he wasn't sure what would happen next.

"Aren't you going to ask anything?" He finally questioned after growing tired of playing with his food.

Donghyuck took a moment to answer. "Well yes, I have a lot I want to ask you, but honestly I'm still trying to process that your actually _here._ In my _cousin's house._ I mean- why are you here?" He questioned, sounding so confused that it made him feel worse.

"I'm only here temporarily. This is only for a few days." Jeno assured, trying hard not to feel like he was lying.

The police did say investigations would last a few days, but even so it could go for longer. They could only wait and see.

Actually, he could have stayed with his grandmother, but he wasn't really comfortable with the idea.

Ever since his mother got remarried without permission from his father's family, his parents weren't welcomed in the household which wasn't unexpected, but it certainly made him uncomfortable whenever they made remarks about it.

Jeno hasn't liked going over to his grandmother's house in a long time so he would rather choose the harder option.

"Anyway, I'll be out of your hair soon." Jeno muttered, dragging his thoughts away from his somewhat complicated family.

He could feel Donghyuck staring at him as he looked away in embarrassment.

Suddenly Exo's _Wolf_ started to play out of the blue, making Jeno look over at Donghyuck who quickly answered his phone.

"I have to go now. Eomma wants me home." The boy explained, picking up both of their plates so that he could wash them.

"I can do it. You can leave first." Jeno offered. Donghyuck turned towards him. "Really? Well... okay then. Thanks."

He went to clean the dishes as Donghyuck got ready to leave.

"Hey Jeno." The boy casually called out, surprising him somewhat.

"Yeah?"

"Tomorrow is a weekend, do you wanna hang out with me and my friends?"

The offer stunned the boy for a few moments before the cold water snapped him out of it as he quickly turned off the tap.

"Would your friends be okay with it?" Jeno asked with his back turned, too awkward to face him.  
"I'm sure they'll be fine with it."

He took a short glance at Donghyuck, seeing only eagerness in his face. "... Since you offered... I guess I shouldn't turn you down."

"Great! I'll tell my friends. Oh and here's my number as well."

Donghyuck left his number on a sticky note on the coffee table before leaving.

Jeno let out a sigh, going back to washing the dishes.

Would this really be okay?

___

Renjun didn't think this was okay.

"Why are there so many weeds in the garden? Does nobody take care of it?!" He hissed angrily under his breath.

Logically Renjun knew there was a whole team dedicated to taking care of the gardens, but this was the third weed he had encountered in the past thirty minutes so his patience was running a little thin.

"Are you feeling okay your Highness?" Heejin asked, looking at him nervously.

Renjun huffed a small sigh. "Of course. It's nothing you have to worry about."

Honestly he didn't really understand why he was so bothered. In his head he knew that it was just some harmless gossip but...

Renjun knew that there would be talk about Jaemin's condition, but accidentally overhearing two of the younger maids gossiping that he was going mental, caught him off guard and angered him.

Was that really what people thought of Jaemin? That he was going crazy?

It bothered Renjun greatly that people would even think such things about the prince.

"Heejin, I have to ask you something. And you have to answer me truthfully." He asked.

The girl frowned, setting her gardening equipment down. "What is it?"

"Exactly what do you think of Prince Jaemin?"

Heejin looked a little surprised by the question before apprehension crossed over her face.

"Well... He's a little closed-off. He doesn't even try to talk to me, but I think he's nice. I... I don't really know what else to say. I don't know him at all." She admitted, shrugging her shoulders.

Renjun felt a hint of disappointment that this was her answer, but he guessed he should have expected it.

Even he couldn't really say that he knew Jaemin all that well.

"Well..." He started slowly, "Then what do you think of the royal family?"

He was asking a difficult question so he waited patiently for Heejin to form an answer.

"I don't really have an opinion on them." She admitted slowly. 'I don't really know how to put it... The royal family just seems very... far removed. It sometimes feels like you exist in a complete different society. How can we form opinions when we don't get the chance to know you? But your all still well-received. It's just that we only see you as royalty, not as people, and so that can make it hard to form a connection."

Renjun thought over what she was saying, realising that she was correct. While they did spent a lot of time attending events in public, it was only ever as members of the royal family. Other than that, they usually stayed in the palace. All the children were also home-schooled which made it harder for the public to see them as fellow citizens.

"Actually, back when Queen Gaeun was still around, people say that was that when the royal family was most popular with the public. The Princess Diana of South Korea as they called her. It's a shame they both passed away during the same period though."

Ah, Queen Gaeun. She passed away long before Renjun was born, leaving behind only her young son. Prince Jaeho would have only been three at that time, which was extremely young to have lost his mother.

He had originally wanted to find out more about her, being curious from all the stories he's read on the internet, but the deceased queen seemed to be a forbidden topic in the palace, especially since there was a new queen.

Queen Sohye seemed quite nice whenever they got the chance to talk, but there was a coldness to her that chased people off. 

Renjun could see why there were such rumors about her personality.

"Did I say too much?" Heejin asked, a little worried at his long silence.

"No, thank you for answering." Renjun replied, snapping out of it.

"Then... Is it possible for me to ask you a question?" Heejin asked hesitantly.

"What is it?"

It took a moment before she finally blurted it out, "The consort selection... Why... Why was it held?"

It was an innocent question, but it struck a nerve deep inside Renjun.

The stricken look on his face must have worried Heejin as she started to apologise repeatedly. "You don't have to answer! I'm sorry if my question was too personal. I-I shouldn't have asked. I'm sorry."

Renjun forced a smile on his face, waving away her apologises. "It's fine. I was just a little shocked."

But he should have. Of course people outside would be curious. He was a healthy male carrier same as Jeno, so they wouldn't think there would anything that required the palace to do something so extreme.

It all boiled down to trust in the end. The ministers didn't trust Renjun.

The reminder caused a bitterness to rise from deep inside himself that he didn't enjoy so he forced a smile on his face, "Sorry, but this will have to stay a secret." 

_"I'm sorry but it'll be hard for you to have children."_

Some things were just too painful to admit. Even to himself.


End file.
